Fear

Yahweh on fear, as recorded by Isaiah:

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The Litany Against Fear From "Dune" by Frank Herbert:

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

What I notice is that one way to fearlessness is God dependent and the other is self dependent. As much I enjoyed "Dune", I think I will rely on God for my back bone. He is more reliable than I am.

Fear has been called the opposite of faith, but I think sometimes faith is driven by our fear. Fear's intensity dissipates as we move closer toward God. God is fearsome, but he only inspires fear in those opposed to his will. He inspires awe and respect in the faithful. We believe and obey Him because we are familiar with His power.

I have been afraid in my life. Mostly it would involve fear of embarrassment or losing face in some way. Odd that. Most people fear things like death or pain or suffering. My idea of suffering is being embarrassed. I wonder if one can die from that?  It is so funny when I think about it that way. Another odd thing; I am seldom embarrassed by what comes out of my mouth, which is strange because if you knew me and the things I say and write, you would think I was embarrassed all the time. Things that embarrass me come down to really shallow matters like appearance, mispronunciation of words, being caught in an error over details that no one cares about and whether my sneakers are white enough. I'm not sure what any of that is about, but if you want to get to me, now you know how.

So this is the thing I have to overcome if I want to be fearless. But does God really want me that way? I'm thinking 'no'. I already lack appropriate filters. If He did not have embarrassment to corral me, I would be dangerous. I would also not lean on Him for my courage as I must do now.

So there you have it. It's my fear confession. Please do not embarrass me. I might cry.