Who Do I Say That I Am?

When the question was put to us at church, I wrote down, 'writer, teacher, servant, child of God'. I am all these things to a greater or lesser degree. I am sometimes very bad at all of them. Today may be an example of my bad writing. Last Sunday I was not up to par teaching my class. There are days when I am just a jerk and not a servant.

And sometimes, I am more like God's foster child than His actual heir. It's like, 'OK, I need someone to take care of me for awhile and You seem like a good prospect. I won't be here long, I promise. If you can just see to my needs for awhile, I will take over when the time comes. Deal?'

Ya. It doesn't work that way does it? We are either His children or we are not. We are either in the family or we are not. We are either His heirs or we are not. God has NO foster children. He has no grandchildren. We are it. He is our eternal parent and we will be His eternal children, and as His children, it seems like we never quite outgrow our need for our heavenly Father.

There are many that see the need for an eternal 'Sky Daddy' as weakness. Allegedly, there is something missing in people that call upon the name of the Lord; that we cannot deal with our realities and so we invent invisible, all powerful friends to help solve our problems.

Y'all are filled with pride and ignorance. Look around you. Why do you just accept the current agnostic meme? You know you feel it in your heart; that sense of eternity and something that goes beyond the materialistic, here and now, stuff. Admit it. Bend the knee to Him and do not look back.

But I digress.

No matter how hard I have tried, I cannot get around it. I am a child of God. This is my identity. I am still exploring what all that means. I might figure it out before I am dead. But it is who I am. I believe it all and that's why there is such conflict within me when I try to release the natural impulses of my flesh.

Dad says NO!

And stupid me...I look at Him and say 'why?'

Not a good idea.

My Abba and I have had a bumpy relationship. I want it to be right before I die. After that, it will be a little late for a simple time out.

Submit. Obey. Pray. Study. Follow.

It looks pretty simple. What is wrong with me that I have such issues with it? Why am I so bent?

Lord, is it just me, or are all Your other kids just faking it? I think at least some of them are. You know, when I do something, I like to do it right. If I can't do it right, I tend to walk away. I will not walk away from you again no matter how rough it gets. You are stuck with me. Do what you will. You always do. I will try to deal with it. Just help me to have a good finish please.

Is that a pride issue Lord? Maybe. I need to grasp the notion that Your grace is sufficient for me. Even Paul had to do that. Who am I to think I don't have to? Ya, You know who I am. You get me. I wish I did.

I love You Dad. I want to come home. I can see you standing there off in the distance. You look so happy to see me. I will be there soon. Just a few more miles. It's gonna be great. I will probably be kind of tired. I will need some new clothes and something to eat. I will need rest. It will be good to see you. We will talk. Yes...we will talk...