Violence, The Law and Grace...

When I was in kindergarten, I beat up Roger Ghee. We were walking home from school and he was making fun of me. I was a bit bigger than the other kids. I wore 'husky' jeans. For some reason Roger thought I was fat.  Roger was my friend and I pounded him mercilessly....wait, does that sound right? Apparently. It did not seem contradictory at the time. I beat the crap out of him because he made fun of me. It was easy. He did not expect my reaction. The look of shock on his face when I took him to the ground was priceless. And then I just walked away from him.

He went home and told his mom. His mom called my Mom. Suddenly it was a big deal. I got in trouble. My reaction to mockery was violence. Instead of responding in kind or not responding at all, I reacted in such a way that Roger never mocked me again. Scorched earth. That was my policy. I had no idea that William Tecumseh Sherman had already invented it. I would not have cared. Sherman was a red head...but I digress.

Fast forward to junior high. I believe you youngsters call that middle school now. Gene Sewell thought my jacket was a bit too nice for someone like me. He mocked me. I beat the crap out of him. Ended up in the vice principal's office for that one. Strangely, he was impressed. He smiled the whole time. I detected that maybe I had done something he longed to do. We agreed that I would not engage in such activities again. He treated me like a man and I respected him for that.

High school...yes, it happened one more time. One of the football players bumped into me and sent my books and calculator flying across a crowded hall way. A controlled response was not forthcoming. Absolute rage shot through me and I went nuts. Please keep in mind that this guy was a foot taller than me and probably outweighed me by 50 pounds. I did not care. I went berserk. (BTW, do you know how many kids in my high school of 2000 had pocket calculators in 1974? One. Me. But I digress.)

The football player took it in stride. Instead of striking back, he tried to help me control my rage. He did not hit me even though I had struck him at least twice. I think he might have been amused. He got me in a bear hug with my back to his front, arms across my chest, holding both of my wrists. I suddenly felt so safe. Becalmed. Controlled. I was lacking one thing, but the kiss wasn't coming. Dang it.  Whatever. I won't go there. Mr Kacena, the photography teacher, broke it up. We both went to the Vice Principal's office. Peace was made with mutual apologies. No parents were involved.

I tell these stories because it seems like we tend to over react when we are put upon in some way by real or imagined adversaries. I say 'we' because you know you have done it too. An insult begats a fist and so on.

I think that's why the Law of Moses prescribed and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. The human tendency is the 'scorched earth' policy of Sherman and Brady. We over react rather than react in kind. I suppose that's how we finally managed to keep the peace in this world...mutually assured destruction (MAD) keeps the testosterone in check.

Digression happens...

Jesus had another idea. Turn the other cheek. Hmmm. I don't know. OK.  So no violence. Can I write a tersely worded blog post and then send the link to my oppressor? I suppose it's better than just slugging him.

At the bottom of this....all of this...is my bruised ego and my sense of helplessness. It's my demand for respect and honor.

Why does that matter? Maybe it doesn't.

Sometimes we just need to let it go.