The Sandwich Generation

My generation has been called the Sandwich Generation and appropriately so. Many of my peers, like myself, have become caregivers for their elderly parents. They also have the honor of continuing to care for their adult children. I know some people that have their 30 year old offspring living in the basement and their senile father living upstairs with them. It's an odd arrangement.

I only have one slice of bread in my sandwich. Dad is 80 and bat shit crazy, but all his intentions are good. His Alzheimer's is becalmed by something called Namenda and he can mow lawn like a 20 year old. Ya, it's not a push mower and that helps, but it keeps him happy and focused in the spring and summer. This winter might be an issue. We will see.

I kind of wish I had a 30 year old in the house to help. I should have made that deposit at the sperm bank back in 1987. Didn't do it. Too late now.

I have no heir. I need one. Applications are available in the lobby. I am prime sugar daddy material and I am kind of harmless. All you have to do is be nice to me for ten or fifteen years and you will do well.

All kidding aside guys, it would be a great job. Adoption would be required. Visit me, be my friend, engage me in intelligent conversation, argue with me, have dinner with me once in awhile...nothing wrong with that right? If you cared about me and loved me, that would be a bonus for both of us, but not a requirement. You can fake it. Best of all, there would be no sex involved. Even so, if you're hot, that would help (;^)))   

I am so funny.

I have some heirs in mind actually, but I suppose it will be embarrassing for them now that I'm out of the closet. Oh Well...I won't care. I will be dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will just have to deal with it.

In other news, I am interviewing someone for a job on our dock at work on Thursday. His first name is El-Messiah.

Yes, that's right, El-Messiah. From the Hebrew, it means, "God, the anointed One".

If his Mom's name is Mary, I am going to be more than a bit curious. I half imagine him answering when the other guys on the dock swear. With a name like that, he has to be good.

I need to go to bed now. These are the kinds of things I contemplate when I am tired. I wonder if it will be worse when I'm re-tired. Hope I live that long.

Send a pic with your resume and application. No uggos for heirs OK guys?... I am so freakin funny.

Nitey nite!