Remembrance

We have a new employee at work. She is 40 something. During her training, we have been gradually getting to know each other. She has been concerned about me for many reasons. She thinks I do not take enough vacation and that I do not socialize enough. Had she known me 10 years ago, I wonder what she would have said. I am a social butterfly now by comparison.

Anyhow, tonight we were talking about my birthday was on Sunday. She wanted to know how I would celebrate and what I was going to do. I told her that I had already celebrated with the Angels and that I would probably just go to church. She could accept that, but thought I should at least watch Green Bay play on Sunday...Green Bay fans are like that.

As we talked and waited for paperwork to arrive, I showed her some bits from our old home movies on my YouTube channel.

I had an emotional moment. We sat there watching me on the computer when I was two years old. She was entertained. I just started crying.

Ya, my face leaks way too much these days. I was watching myself at 2 years old. That was 57 years ago. I wept. I wondered how that sweet little boy turned into me. How did that ever happen? Then I watched that little boy go running across a picnic area at Ledges State Park into his mother's arms and the dam burst.

How does this happen? Where did it all go so wrong with me? What a mess.

I wanted to rewind my entire life and try again. It started so well. How I got here is a mystery. It's all a blur. I do not understand.

I have been thinking about birthday 59 for awhile. My Grandpa Meacham died in his 59th year from a brain tumor. From now on I will need to walk softly and keep my fingers crossed. It's too early for me to be checking out. Dad is going to need me for awhile I think. After that, OK Lord. I just need to be here a bit longer. You see the sense in that right? I'm just asking. After that, we can talk. I will set my house in order. We will prepare together.

I think Sunday I will post the video we were watching. I may have posted it once on the old blog, but it's worth another look. It's from an era that time forgot unless you are watching reruns of Happy Days.

Good Night!