SSA or SSA

There is an interesting post over at Your Other Brothers . It's a blog for same sex attracted Christians; mostly men. Some of the writers over there are married (to women with whom they have children), some are celibate; I do not think any of them are sexually active with men. They all seem to be under 35 years old. The website is not for the sqeamish. If an open and very direct discussion of same sex desires is not your cup of tea, you should not go there. These guys talk about everything and I mean everything. You were warned! Anyway.. 

The post I refer to is called, "Not So Different From the Straight Guy". The writer goes to great pains to explain how SSA men are not all that much different from their straight brethren. It's his belief that we are all really straight, but some of us are just confused. My thought is that it's the writer and those like him that are confused and I do not mean this in a condescending way.

I believe that young men in our day - 2016 - are at a distinct disadvantage. Many of them were raised by women or grandparents because Mom and Dad were always gone and the men in their lives were there for discipline and many times this turned into abuse of one sort or another. Another factor that young men face today that was not a factor in previous decades is the availability of pornography. When I was coming of age, there were no computers or laptops or tablets or cell phones. Porn was only available at the local dirty book store or by subscription. Today, it's much easier to find porn. You don't have to try very hard to find pics of naked folks frolicking with each other. Gay or straight, porn is easily accessed, even by under age young men with a few clicks of the mouse. There are ways to limit access to such things by your children, but if YOU are not involved in their lives or their on- line lives, they will find the porn; especially the boys. There's another warning for you.

So if you are a young man, say 15 to 25 years old, and you were raised by a man embittered divorced woman and there has never been a strong positive male influence in your life, you just might find yourself looking for Daddy in all the wrong places. Porn presents an unrealistic view of men. Whether it's straight porn or gay porn, the men in the porn are NOT representative of real men. You do not get into a porno by being shortdicked or ugly or fat or feminine. You get into a porno by having all the right physical assets.

The results for the watchers is disastrous. Young men looking for male role models see these naked images of idealized men pleasing their partners and they want to be like them. They begin to admire the body types in their daily male acquaintances and they confuse this with attraction.

Young men that find themselves thinking they are attracted to their buddy or best friend have been deceived. You may well be starved for male attention. You may want the love of a man or you may admire a man that seems to meet the requirements of what you think a man is, but guys, you are not gay!

You are not same sex attracted. You are same sex activated. You miss the Daddy you never had and you look for him through porn, through other male friends and relatives and through hero worship. It's normal for straight men to gravitate toward strong male personalities and if they are good looking personalities, that helps. It does not mean you are gay or same sex attracted.

I know the difference. I love men. I love spending time with them. I love the way they smell, the way they feel, the way they look, the way they walk and the way they think. I like smooth ones, furry ones, fat ones, skinny ones and nerdly ones. I really like smart ones that are about 5'10' with a bubble butt, fur is optional... but I digress.

What I'm saying is that I don't just like the idea of men. I do not just admire certain men. I like 'em all.

You same sex activated boys just do not understand what it is to be really gay. It's hard wired into me. I'm not looking for Daddy. I am looking for husband material, Mr. Right. Praise the Lord, I never found him!

So...for all you guys that have these conflicting feelings...stop looking at the porn - straight, gay or otherwise. Love your wives or your girlfriends. Marry, have families. Enjoy time with your buddies. If you are crushing on him too much, walk away for awhile. Try to enjoy the hetero side of life and let your SSA side die if you can.

Obsessing over it will only make you more confused.

And if you are like me....well, just embrace the suckage. It ain't easy.