It's been a busy week; seven days since I last posted. I will try to crank out a few this weekend to make up for lost time. My life is changing. I used to get up in the morning and rush out of the house to go write at Caribou Coffee and escape my father at the same time. After that, I would go to work. Now I get up in the morning and rush over to Parkridge to see him before work. Work has been a bitch and so there was not much time in between to get the writing done. Things should improve steadily next week....I hope. Next year, I will officially become a short timer..I'm thinking about staying as a part time employee to keep my insurance, but I really don't want to. We will see what develops. I think I just need to be out of there. I hate it.
It's Christmas Eve. When I was a kid, we always had our Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve. Me, Dennis and Laurie and assorted Grandparents, usually Pauline and Lloyd. It was an 'only child' Christmas that would net me much booty. The result was a rather distorted view of what Christmas was supposed to be about. Over the years, I began to get the real picture. We were not doing it right. Even so, it continued for decades. Now, not so much.
There is peace, quiet and contentment on Christmas Eve. Mom has moved on to Paradise and Dad is in his waiting room at Parkidge.
To say that my years with Dennis and Laurie burned me out on Christmas, might be understatement. Even so, my Mom always loved the holiday. She loved decorating the house. Multiple Christmas trees, hand made ornaments from years gone by, some made by yours truly. Throughout all of it Dad remained silent. All the sentiment made him uncomfortable. I think feelings and emotions in general did that to him as well as the season itself. It's odd how it worked. Mom would bend over backwards to make it enjoyable for everyone. Dad would be stoic about the whole thing and as I got older, I did not really care, so it became difficult for her too.
Christmas Day in my earliest recollection, was normally spent at the house of grandparents. Later, we would have Christmas at my aunt and uncle's house - spaghetti dinner of the finest kind was offered. It's now offered at my cousin's house. I hope to attend on Sunday afternoon. It will be good I am sure.
I will be glad for the holidays to be over. In my present state, they are difficult in the extreme. They always make me feel rushed and they are tinged with guilt and I am not sure why. I try not to be melancholic at this time of year, but it's hard. Others, the Christmas people, seem to live for this season. I tend to think something is wrong with them. I suppose it could be me, but if you have ever had a Christmas person turn on you, you would know it was them. Just try to bring one of them back to earth from their Christmas high. You will find yourself categorized, named and stamped with a bad attitude sticker. You don't want to ruin a Christmas person's Christmas buzz. I think it's a sickness that only the New Year can cure, so don't harsh their mellow ok?
Here's to 2017. What will I be doing next Christmas? It could be an interesting year.
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Be Gentle.