Pants

Yes, pants. It's always a good idea to wear them, especially if you're going outside or near the general public. I have had moments, particularly in the morning, when I went outside without them, but generally, I always wear pants. Last week was an exception.  There was a squirrel on my bird feeder. I was so infuriated that I went outside in a bath towel and shot at the squirrel. I had just gotten out of the tub and spied the little bugger from the bathroom window. I missed the squirrel, but I'm sure I was quite a sight wrapped in a towel and holding a .22 caliber rifle to my shoulder. I almost lost the towel on the way back into the house, but if anyone had been looking, they would have got what they deserved. I was far enough back from the road that passersby would have seen very little anyway. Come to think of it, even if I had been standing on the road shoulder they would have seen very little. but I digress...with self deprecating humor.

I'm not sure why nakedness bothers everyone so much. We were all born that way. Frankly, most folks need to cover up, if for no other reason than their bodies are hideous. We are not all going to be department store models or porn stars. Even so, if we all went about naked, or nearly so, I do not think sexuality would seem like the big deal that we all make it out to be in the clothed world. Seeing run of the mill average people of all ages naked every day would be enough to put everyone off sex I would think. Great birth control. Again, I digress

So, getting back to pants, as I said, I do wear them. Until recently, I always thought that jeans were the most comfortable along with a cotton t-shirt. But recently, I have been spending much more time outside and I find cotton clothing items are too hot and clingy. When one perspires in cotton, the clothes just sort of cling to one's body like a lukewarm dish rag or wet diaper. Very uncomfortable and kind of miserable. It was because of this that I decide to search the closet for something less like a mop and more like a screen. I came up with fishing pants (see below).

Fishing pants are made out of very thin, lightweight polyester. They are quite comfortable in the heat of summer since the breeze tends to go right through them and I have since learned that they are even better if they are worn without underwear. The fishing pants themselves are really just very baggy, lightweight cargo pants. Worn without underwear, there is room for one's genitalia to move about freely with no VPL (visible penis line), at least for me, and since the breeze tends to flow through the fishing pants, it cuts way down on scrotum perspiration (if I might be so bold). 

I then paired the fishing pants with a lightweight polyester t-shirt (Underarmour) and I was good to go for summer - fishing, lawn mowing or whatever. It feels great and if the polyester soaks with sweat, the breeze creates cooling effect on the skin and the polyester dries quickly. The wet diaper effect is gone. 

The best part of all of this is that It feels like I'm naked all the time now when I'm outside. My new wardrobe is baggy and loose and the breeze passes right through it. Very soothing. Also, Sunday is now the only day I wear underwear and jeans...or deorderant for that matter. Maybe I will start wearing my new wardrobe to church too. No one will know how naked I feel and really, transparency is all the rage these days among Evangelicals anyway.

So...if you have to wear pants, and you probably should, get some fishing pants. It's like living at the nudist colony.