Another Benchmark in the Downfall of Modern Society

This video says much about the loss of human decency and even the loss of what it means to be human in our world. Have we become meatsuits without souls? Has the last vestiges of good in humanity been extinguished by technology? How often do you see someone in any context without their smartphone? Watch the video. It's less than eight minutes long. Is this the way of our future?

Faith

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Is this a reasonable statement? Is believing in invisible things kind of crazy?

This is where I am at today. There are many things I accept on faith, including many things in the Bible. My trouble is with the concept of sanctification and the work of this alleged Holy Spirit. Now maybe I just do not understand. I am prepared to accept this and learn, but some instruction would be helpful. If I'm completely transparent about this, I am very much like the disciples of John the Baptist in the Bible. I seem to be unaware of this Holy Spirit.

You see, this is the personal and inward part of Christianity. It is spiritual. I guess that I am not what you would call a spiritual person. What I know seems to come from intellectual understanding of the scriptures and what I believe in my mind comes from circumstantial evidence. There does not seem to be, for me, a spiritual component to my faith.

Am I looking for magic? For a feeling? For an experience beyond my intellect that changes me despite my natural state?

It's that last one. It really is. I do not believe I have ever had a spiritual experience. I have had many emotional experiences. I have even wept over my lack of spirituality. I feel bad about it. It's because something is missing and that something is spiritual.

I have always wondered at my Christian friends who would say things like, "I believe God is leading me to do..." or "God spoke to my mind" or "God is urging me to leave this whatever".

It mystifies me.

Friends, God does not talk to me directly, through circumstance or my emotions.

Emotions are just chemical reactions in our brains. The right combo of medications can fix that.

Should not true Christian spirituality be more than a feeling or more like an intellectual knowing of truth? Should I not want to do what is considered right in scripture because the Spirit has enabled and changed me in such a way to do so?

You see, the Bible says certain things are wrong, even abominations. Some of those things I see nothing wrong with other than the fact that God says they are wrong. If I accept that, I am reduced to the status of rule keeping Pharisee. If God truly changes my heart and sanctifies my being through the power of His Spirit in my life, would I not bend to His will without a battle or disagreement?

Lord, show me Your Spirit. I challenge you to do this. I know. Who am I to do that? Even so, I need to know you live inside me. I want to know you, but that does not seem to be happening. Where are you? Why are things not working as promised.

Are you even there? Have I been deluded all these years? Maybe I am not even a Christian. If that's the case, I need to quit wasting every one's time, including my own.

If You are there, please help me out here. I feel lost.    

This is my son in whom I am well pleased...

II Brady 3:9,10

"And Dennis looked down from heaven and saw his son, Jeff, changing the oil and replacing the blades on his mower and he said, "this is my son in whom I am well pleased." And many thought they heard the voice of Dennis; others thought it was just thunder or a train on the tracks at the bottom of the hill..."

Yip, I did it. First time I ever changed the oil on The Tank. It was easier and a bit messier than I thought it would be. There is a rubber hose with a bolt in the end at the back of the mower. You have to unscrew the bolt and the oil will come pouring out into a strategically placed container. The oil was dark black. Not sure when Dad changed it last, but it was well passed time. Getting the oil filter off was a bit of a challenge. It was in a tight place next to the engine and it was also very tightly screwed in. I finally maneuvered a monkey wrench in there and got it loose. Once the filter was off, I put the new one on and the bolt back into the hose. It took two quarts of synthetic 10W-30 oil to fill it.

With that done, I proceeded to replace the blades. I got the blades and filter at P&P Small Engine. The new blades were spray painted black and labeled "bottom" on the side that was to face the ground. My first thought was, this sounds easy. It was not. It's really a two man job, but I figured out how to make it a one man job (much like life). My Dad had more tools than Craftsman I think and so I used those.

I used two hydraulic jacks to raise the mower high enough to get under it and work. Once the mower was up, I placed two axle stands under it to ensure it did not come down on top of me. Once in place, I got down on the ground and had a look underneath the mower. There was a great deal of dirt and grass caked under the deck and all three blades were worn and split on the ends, probably from Dad mowing rocks and stick and cans. He never liked walking the yard to pick up those things prior to mowing.

Anyhow, I quickly figured out that these blades were not going to come off unless something was holding the pulleys in place from the top. So I took a long handled wrench of the correct size and placed it on the bolt head of the pulley, bracing the long handle of the wrench against the mower itself. This gave me the leverage I would need to remove the blade nut from the blade. The nuts were on tight. I could not budge them, even with the long handled ratchet I was using. I pulled a spray can of penetrating oil off the shelf in the garage and sprayed each blade nut heavily. I let it set for awhile to give the oil time to do it's thing. The nuts finally came loose with repeated efforts and I got the blades off. Here they are.

 I wish I had gotten a picture of the new blades for comparison purposes because these blades are very badly worn. Putting on the new ones was much easier than taking off the old ones. When I was done, I was too worn out and stiff to mow the yard, but I did test them and they wonderful. I am going out now to do the whole place. I will let you know how it goes. I also aired up the tires and now the mower rides much better.

I'm getting pretty good at this 'man stuff' that the rest of you have been doing all your lives. I am learning much. Time to mow.

Believing The Unbelievable

The hard part for me is believing in what is supposed to come after conversion to the faith. There is so much I do not understand. I also have questions about God that I still find no resolution for in scripture. It all bothers me. As one that likes things to flow, I am not finding that flow in my faith.

I do not really know what it means to live by the Spirit. I know what it means to live by the Word. Is it the same thing? Or is something supernatural supposed to be happening, or is it happening and I am just unaware of it? I can try to live by the rules and I do try, but I am unaware of any spiritual involvement in that process. I do not understand how it works. I feel no sense of direction coming from anything except myself and my own intellectual understanding of the scriptures.

And how does the Spirit change us? Why has it not changed me? Why do I still have to deal with the SSA that I have experienced since before my conversion? Why has God left me to twist in the wind with this? What is the point of such a struggle? If I received new life and freedom at my spiritual rebirth, should these things not have left me by now? I am almost 60 years old and I am still dealing with this crap. I came out in November of 2015 with the hope that this would finally free me. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul. It did help for awhile. I was released from pretending to be what I am not. That tension was gone and I know that my friends still love me, but the SSA is still there. It is not only there, but it is stronger than it was before. The battle rages. Why? Coming out may have been a bad choice in retrospect. It freed me from caring what people think about me. but it ratcheted up the desire.

Where is the promised freedom and the new life? Why has nothing changed?

I can only conclude that it does not work as promised. Natural inclinations can be controlled but not changed. 100% control is not possible and 100% change is not possible. All of this is as it has always been with me and I sense no spiritual involvement in the whole process as I fight.

Totally unrelated to this is what I see as the character of God in the Bible. He seems inconsistent to me as I read. John tells us God is love, that He loves us, that He wants to save us. Why did He not want to save anyone before the flood. If the book Genesis is to be believed, God is a genocidal maniac. He drowned the entire population of the world and to what end? Sin continued apace from the offspring of Noah's family. Purging the human race did nothing to end the reign of sin and death on earth. Even the death, burial and resurrection of His Son did not bring an end to the reign of sin and death. We still sin. We still die. But now there is this vague promise of life after death of which the Bible reveals little.

I know there are textbook answers to these kinds of questions, but they fall short in explaining why God does the things He does and is as He is portrayed in scripture and by evangelical leaders. I do not understand Him.

Accepting these kinds of things in faith in order to hear an explanation at a later, eternal date is hard. I would like to know now and be enabled to understand. Oddly, I have no trouble in believing in the resurrection, the possibility of a virgin birth or a six day creation. If God truly is God, these things should not present a problem. It's His behavioral inconsistencies that bother me. Is He the same and unchanging? The scriptures say so; they also reveal His changes of mind and attitude, as I read them. As I said, I do not understand.

I can only conclude that maybe things are not as I have been told all my life, that God is someone other than the One portrayed by Christian and Jewish teachers.

Lord, if you are reading, please enlighten me. I'm short on time and I would like some answers. Is that too much to ask? Have I pushed too much here? I need to know and understand. If you are really there, you would do this I think, right?      

Post Script to Six Years of Crap...and there may be more

This sewage came flowing out of my spiritual pipes today as a result of things I heard in my class and in the sermon later at church. It's been backed up for some time and it needs to see the light of Day. It will stink for awhile and then as it dries, maybe it can be used for fertilizer or it will just dissolve into the landscape.

Quite a change from yesterday eh, when I thought the Holy Spirit was trimming my spiritual tree? Maybe I'm bipolar. Bad brain chemistry and not spiritual warfare?

Getting back to the point of this post though...

My faith is in question of late, or maybe for awhile now. I am not sure what I believe anymore. I can't pray in any organized way outloud or silently. I'm not sure it actually produces any good in my life or anyone else's. What I am able to do is close to what Jesus advised in His model prayer. I give thanks, pray for protection and a softening of my spirit; I might ask for some forgivness or pray for someone else. I am unable to do conversational prayer anymore where I just talk to Jesus or His Father. It's like we have nothing to talk about He knows what I think and where I am at and does not care. And I'm not sure it matters in the big picture sense anyway. I lack faith that prayer actually does anything. This from years of experience.

I have been a Christian for 45 years - or at least, I did the things that people do to become a Christian. I am sure that I believed it at the time or I would not have walked down into the water for the big dip. I may have discussed this before, but I remember thinking immediately after the event, "what now Lord?"

Now most people that choose the faith do not go there right away. There is usually a honeymoon period; a time of unparalleled joy, of feeling free or new. I never felt any of those things. I had no sense of the Holy Spirit's presence or an awareness that He even existed. Truth be told, I actually felt kind of bad. I still had my guilt. It was as if nothing really happened that day beyond getting wet.

I tried to make it work with what I knew and what I was learning, but I have never really felt comfortable in my Christian skin - if I ever had one.

I am, to this Day, unchanged in any appreciable way. In some ways, I am morally worse than when I was 14 years old. My mind and my body still wants all those things that should have died when I became a Christian. I am urged daily by my flesh to do these things. There is no sense in me of sanctification and by this time in my life, I do not see any possibility of me being a finished work of faith on Judgement Day. It's all just too late and I and I don't know if there is anything I can do about it.

Today, in class we talked about the possibility of obedience without love and mostly how nothing counted without the presence of love as a motivating factor. We also talked about how some people manage to fake the whole thing to get through life with their friends and family. Someone in class suggested that sooner or later, a Christian like that would get caught faking it. Maybe. You haven't caught me yet, probably because I'm an expert.  So now I confess it. I do not know that I was faking. It's more like I have been going through the motions or fulfilling a duty. Like a Pharisee as it were.

A bit later, during the sermon, the preacher was talking about the resurrection of Lazarus and how Martha was having a problem with Jesus because He had not arrived in time to heal her brother and now he was dead. Martha could not let go of her displeasure with Jesus. She could not wrap her mind around the notion that Jesus could raise someone dead after four days. She could not let go of any of it. Until it happened.

This is where I am at. Despite all the assurances in scripture, nothing has changed in my life. I am as I was and have always been for the most part, and now I'm cynical and cranky too. I have not yet received the new life I was supposed to get and I blame Jesus for that. I used to blame myself. It was because I didn't do this or that, or because I did do this or that. I'm done blaming myself. I need to see some ressurection action in my life or I'm no longer going to buy into any of it. I hope He shows me something. I need something. I can't play this game any longer. I'm old and tired and close to the end. I need some hope. That's all I'm saying. Help me get my faith back! Or at least one that works.  

Six Years of Crap

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I had the sense that the Holy Spirit had been working hard in me as I slept to buff out some spiritual issues and also to sharpen and repoint my mind. Of late, I was beginning to think that He had given up on me, but the sense of peace I have today tells me otherwise.

For some reason, it is abundantly clear today that I have been dealing with six years of crap that has been building since I put my life on hold to take charge of my Dad in 2011. It's like the files of my mind are being purged in the hard drive of my brain  and I can collate data again. So when I got out of bed today and took my morning pills, I knew without a doubt that, as much as I love the peace and quiet of my parent's house and property, I need to get out of there. I also need to get rid of my condo on the south side and settle into something smaller in a different place where there are people of my own age. What a painful thing to admit. I need to be with people. Who would have thought it?

I have been given much, but the weight of it is more than I need in old age. I think it is more than I ever needed. I feel enslaved to it all. God did not intend for me to live this way. I need to be free of the entanglements and pressures of this present world. I've never been one to thrive under pressure. It usually makes me tired, cranky and horny. Hence, my desire for the forbidden, metaphorical tacos late.  

And about those tacos, I have concluded what follows.

There is nothing wrong with having the desire. Indeed, it seems quite natural.
There is nothing I can do about it.
There is a right way and a wrong way to enjoy them.
I have resisted the wrong way for 38 years. Why would I want to mess up a streak like that?
It's OK to be alone and lonely as long as I am free.

And so, it's time to break the present paralysis and move forward. Probate will be over next month and there are things I need to do to ready myself for completion of my last chapter. Time to move forward, onward and upward.

Lord, please make it so. I can almost see your smiling face from here. An undiscovered country lies ahead and this nomad is tired of being a stranger here. See you soon.

Tacos and Lust

I have been lusting after some tacos from a local vendor for a few days now. I'm pretty sure they are not good for me, but I am obsessed. I cannot stop thinking about them. The crunchy deliciousness of the shell, the crispy lettuce, the sharpness of the cheese all dripping with hot sauce when I bite into it. Gastronomical delight. When I look at pictures of tacos it gets worse. Watching a video of someone making tacos is pure torture. Driving by the taco stand is completely unfulfilling. Worse yet, if I substitute other foods to kill my taco desires, I am left completely unsatisfied.

So I have to ask, would I lust for tacos if I made them a part of my regular diet; if I married them into my meal plans? Would I be better off giving into the desire to prevent the lust? Does resistance to eating them breed more lust and desire? Hmmm.

The Lawn Fairy

I was supposed to go to a movie on Sunday afternoon with some angel friends, but I backed out at the last minute because the lawn needed mowing. It was a chick flick and I was just not up to sitting through all the weeping that invariably occurs when a group of women watch these cinematic tear jerkers. I may be queer, but I'm still a man. Shut up. I am too!

Anyhow, I stayed home and mowed the lawn. I have a Cub Cadet 60 inch zero turn with a 28 hp Kohler engine. The model name is "The Tank" and that pretty much describes it. Lest you think I'm over compensating for other short comings, I need this mower for my lawn. It takes almost three hours to mow all six acres.

So anyway, I am coming up out of the bar ditch on the mower yesterday afternoon. I leaned forward and then back as the ground leveled. In the intervening seconds, a honey bee came between my back and the seat back. It firmly planted it's stinger in a place I cannot easily reach right through my Under Armor polyester t-shirt. I came flying off that mower like a bat out of the 9th circle of hell. Arms were flayling around as I danced across my half mowed front lawn. Cars on the street were slowing down to watch as I did the bee sting dance. I'm sure everyone enjoyed the lawn fairy spectacle I was putting on.

I love their honey, but I hate honey bees. They always leave their stinger and a good dose of venom. I now have a bright red mark in the middle of my back. It kind of itches today, but yesterday it was like someone stuck me with a pen knife.

I spend a lot of time trying to cultivate an image of the country gentleman doing his chores. Yesterday all my efforts went down the tubes. Turns out I'm just a lawn fairy.  

(The term "Lawn Fairy" was borrowed for today's post from Dean Samuels at YOB)

Do I Sound Gay?

I was listening to a podcast at the Your Other Brothers website yesterday about gay perceptions. Many times, you straight folks can pick up the fact that we are gay simply by the way we talk, walk, act or dress. It's your version of gaydar. It is wrong alot, but it seems to be your way of determining that we are not like you.

Even so, this is a real thing. Gay men in particular will many times speak differently than an average straight male. There is a film that was introduced in the podcast called, "Do I Sound Gay?". The trailer for it is above. The whole thing can be found on Netflix or Amazon. It is a documentary that traces the steps of a gay man named David Thorpe in his efforts to discover why some gay men sound different or even effeminate. He seeks out speech therapists and actually tries to change the way he sounds. If you choose to watch the whole film, please know that there are several F-bombs scattered throughout as well as some gratuitous and unnecessary scenes from gay porn used to point out that the guys in these films do not sound gay at all. There might be 40 seconds of this. Offending body parts have been blurred.  Dan Savage also appears in this documentary. I find him to be the most annoying gay man on the face of the earth, mostly because of the way he chooses to hatefully express his gay activism. In the film, however, he makes some very good points.

I think the whole subject is interesting. I do not think I have any 'tells' about what I am, but I seldom hear myself recorded or see myself in video, so maybe I act like a big queen and I just don't realize it. When I watch the 8 mm films of my early life, I can see it. At age 7, 8 and 9, I'm acting kind of gay. There is no sound on these films so my voice then may or may not have been girly. I also know that I worked very hard to 'man up' as I passed into puberty and so I'm pretty sure I seem straight to most folks that meet me.

Anyway, the film is good. If you can deal with the NSFW content, it's worth the watch. The podcast at YOB is also worth the time.

The Church and Its Search for Relevance in The Post Christian Era

The title sounds like a scholarly treatise should follow here. I don't think that will happen. Instead, I will offer my observations and opinions and you can do what you want with them including clicking to the next website.

There seems to be a headlong rush by evangelicals to save the way we do church in an age where fewer and fewer people choose to express and practice their faith in traditional church wrappings. Have you ever thought about the average evangelical church service? No matter where you go to church, the template is the same. Styles may vary. Sermons may differ in content. There may be some doctrinal fine tuning, but it is almost always the same no matter where you go.

-Praise Time (formerly known as the song service -) The music consists of repetitive choruses addressed to God. I hope He likes them.
-Random prayers and videos
-Maybe a selection from the choir (if there is one)
-Hug and Howdy Time (The seatbelt light is off. You may move about the cabin and bother each other)
-Special music...whatever that is...not sure what makes it special
-The Sermon - 15 to 30 minutes of a hired gun expressing his opinion about what the scriptures are telling us to do or not do with absolutely no participation by the worshippers (and they wonder why we go to sleep)
-The offering $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
-Communion (once a week, month, biannually or annually) as oft as ye do it.
-Invitation time, baptisms or confessions of faith
-Announcements (a terrible death to die)
-Closing Prayer
-Maybe a final song

That's pretty much it in varying order in most evangelical churches. There is usually some kind of Sunday school or Bible classes offered before or after the worship service. There is junior church or kids church or whatever they are calling it these days. Sometimes there are fellowship dinners and various activities spread throughout the week.

I find myself wondering how Peter or Paul or John would evaluate our attempts at doing church. If Jesus were there, what would He say about the Sunday show at our houses of worship?

The writer of Hebrews said this:

Hebrews 10:23-25

23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Is what we do on Sunday mornings anything like what the writer of Hebrews had in mind? In 60 AD, do you think the church did what we do now? I'm thinking probably not. What I see in the book of Acts and the epistles is people meeting in small groups to actually worship and discuss scripture together without formality or agenda. There may be a group leader acting as a facilitator, but his commentary would not be the uninterrupted formality of today's church shows. The celebration of the Lord's Supper would not be relegated to 8 minutes with thimble size cups of Welches and Chiclet size pieces of bread. Chances are good that it would be attached to a larger meal where the Lord's death would be remembered, testimonies of what He did in the lives of the membership would be offered and thanksgiving would be expressed by the membership. Songs from the Body in praise of God would be offered spontaneously in group and individually. Earnest prayers would be offered for the sick and spiritually fallen brethren by many. Baptisms would be a time of special celebration. In all, the meeting might last for hours or even the whole day.

Today we limit it to two hours on a given Sunday. It's believed that more than that will interfere with other events in the worshippers lives and it's more important to spend time with your family anyway. This may or may not be the case.

What is really happening though, especially with younger believers, is that they do not like the big church Sunday shows and so are not attending. They forsake the assembly to gather with a few friends that may or may not believers to experience fellowship and share life philosophies, Christian or otherwise. They would rather listen to a pod cast or hear a friend's song on the guitar and discuss it with each other than go hear someone that will not tolerate disagreement or even discussion about how they should live. Texting, social media and the Internet is what binds today's generation of the faithful together. they do not need or want 'the show'.  They would probably have little interest in the first century version of worship either. Attention spans continue to decrease as our cybernetic world pushes us forward.

And what constitutes the assembling of ourselves anyway? Shouldn't it be interactive? Is a sense of community really expressed at the church show or are we gathering to be entertained? Can a group of 8 believers constitute an assembly of the saints and have a meaningful worship time in a public place? Do we really need all this infrastructure and staff with all the financial burdens attendant to it to worship the living God?

It might be time for a change.

I think the way we do church today is in its death throes. The end is near. A new paradigm is emerging. I suppose it must. If it does not, the post Christian age will truly be upon us.

What do You Believe?

My advice was sought recently by a brother at church about how to deal with his friend that is Christian, but has recently come out of the closet as gay. They had known each other at Bible college and after returning home, his friend began announcing on social media that he was gay.

So what is a Christian friend supposed to do with another Christian friend in a situation like this? Anything? What do you say. It all depends on your perspective.

My first observation here is that if they are announcing their proclivities on social media, it may in fact be too late to offer any kind of valuable counsel that might actually turn them from their path of actually pursing their natural desires. I have thought about this for quite awhile now and what I see is this.

Same sex attraction is not something that we decide to adopt one day when we have nothing else to do. It has nothing to do with failed attempts to develop relationship and marry someone of the opposite sex. If it were a choice, no one would choose it because it's too difficult to live that way, even in our currently and allegedly enlightened age. SSA has everything to do with how we are wired or miswired depending on your point of view. We do not choose same sex attraction. It is just how we are. The physical and spiritual genetics of the human race has been a mess since the days of Adam and Eve and this is only one way that it manifests itself. It's one of the more severe examples of how the flesh and spirit is bent because it involves the human sex drive. Sex is right up there with the desire for food, water and shelter. We will not die without sex, but it certainly feels like it sometimes. This is not to say that being same sex attracted or gay is all about sex. It most certainly is not. There will be more about that as I proceed.

SSA manifests itself early in the lives of those effected. (I know of some that discovered it later in life.) It goes unrecognized by parents, family members and our brothers and sisters in Christ because we do not want to think about such a thing. How could this be? My son or daughter is gay..really? Surely it's just a phase. I will ignore it. Maybe it will go away. And so nothing gets done about it. No counsel is offered to the affected child and by the time they are in there teens and there hormones are in a flurry of confusion about who they are, it's almost too late to do anything about it.

Many will disagree with this, but I think what has to happen is education. Folks, when you tell your kids about sex, they need to know that some people are different. For whatever the reason, they (we) are same sex attracted. There is no good scientific or spiritual explanation for this, but it happens. Your children need to be encouraged to voice any SSA feelings they might be experiencing so that the issue can be addressed immediately. It will not be possible to 'cure' them, but with guidance, you may be able to keep them in the faith.

Imagine how we might change the lives of these SSA kids if, early on, they know they will be safe with their church and their family. We have to learn to recognize when this is happening in the lives of the young ones and come along side them offering support.

I have seen it happen frequently. SSA kids that grow up in the church will end up leaving because they feel the rejection of parents, peers and even God regarding who they are. Friends, there are no deal breakers. God loves everyone and so should you, especially if it's your own flesh and blood or your brother or sister in Christ. Love them, even if they are living in what you think to be sin. OK? Jesus did that for you and continues to do so.

My second observation is an attempt to answer how you should love us SSA folks. What can you do when you find out your friend, you brother in Christ or your son is same sex attracted and coming out as gay?

My answer to this is that you should find out what they believe. Beliefs can change when the circumstances of our lives seem to be dictating another course of action. What does your brother in Christ or your family member, that is coming out of the closet to you with their SSA status, really believe about Jesus or the Bible or the Church? What we believe about these things effects the way we proceed. Some people will rework what they believe the Bible says about same sex relationships. Some will reject the faith all together. A few of us have chosen to try and control our SSA by not indulging it in any sexual way.

If your friend is still a person of faith that believes the Bible and still loves Jesus, then you will have common ground with them.

Whatever it is your friend is doing with their SSA, please continue to love and care about them. Show them your love and grace as this is what God has shown you all your life. Never forget the cost of your salvation and who paid your redemption price. Pass on the kindness to others, SSA or otherwise. Jesus said:

  But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them...”

Take care in how you deal with your SSA friends, family members and brethren. If we speak for Jesus from our hearts, hate will have no place there. Love them. Love them. Souls are at stake.

Churches have a poor record when it comes to dealing with SSA people and the gay community. Then again, sometimes our attitude is right, but even our best intentions end up laying down the wrong dynamic. What I mean is that even if you have gay, celibate Christians in your congregation that are out of the closet, other SSA believers can still be fearful of doing the same and living transparently. This happens because of a lack of trust and a fear of being labeled and categorized or even caught in sin. Even when the environment is right and it's OK to be out and celibate, many SSA people will dive deeper into the closet or just leave the church all together. My experience has been that it's like a spotlight is following me. Why is this? Is my desire somehow worse than everyone else's?

Don't you go there!

There are also SSA people that have managed to marry and live seemingly straight lives with a wife and children in tow. They too are reluctant to stand up and say that they deal with SSA. They have a concern for how it will effect their family lives and what they will be allowed to do at church. I understand this, but should it be this way? If we were all more transparent about the things that interfere with our spiritual lives, we would be much more helpful, forgiving and loving with each other. Am I wrong? I don't think so.

The Church needs to deal with this and close off this avenue of attack to Satan. We ALL should be able to talk about our daily spiritual struggles with each other without being singled out or shamed as worse than everyone else. Church leadership needs to recognize the dynamic at work here and deal with it. We cannot go on ignoring the silent suffering of our brothers and sisters because they refuse or fear to talk. We need to create a safe place friends, where fellow believers can be themselves and allow Jesus to do His amazing work in their lives. We can no longer assume that because no one is talking about it, that there is no problem and move on. Voluntary blindness is not an option even if it makes leadership easier.

What do you believe about this?      

Another seemingly common myth within the church is that being gay is all about the sex.

That would be wrong. Just like you straight kids, it's about fulfilling the need to be in relationship and share partnership with another. The desire is to complete that process by sharing our minds, our bodies and our souls with each other. Some of us evangelical Christian SSA's believe that we have to leave our bodies out of that equation. This is, oddly, where our straight brethren can be of help.

Be our friends. Spend time with us. We are not contagious. You won't catch the 'gay' bug by socializing in some way with us. We can be fun, even entertaining. Seriously. And yes, we might become a bit dependent on you, emotionally or otherwise, but we will work through that. It's a hazard when friends become close no matter who you are.

Don't be afraid. Okay?

Persecution, Suffering, Trials and Temptations

In my 0800 class at church on Sunday mornings we have begun a study of the Petrine epistles. Peter's first letter focuses on how Christians have hope, a living hope, through their faith and God's shielding in times of persecution, suffering, trial and temptation. And it's true, people were dying for the faith when Peter wrote those words. The first major persecution of the church had begun under the rule of Nero in the Roman empire. Being a Christian was hazardous to one's health. Peter wanted God's people to know that in the face of it all, they could have hope and even victory if they kept to the faith. Rome might be able to imprison them or kill them, but only God could save their immortal souls. There was no need for fear because we have a living hope. His advice is as follows.

I Peter 1:13-16

  Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your
hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had
when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy,
so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am

holy.”    

It sounds so easy in the way he writes it. If you just do these simple things, all will be well. No worries. You will be set. They may feed you to the lions or crucify or burn you to death, but you will be saved. This life is, after all, only a shadow of what is to come. God will bring you home.

I have to say for myself; I do not think it is all that easy and I do not live in a place where this kind of persecution exists. Or do I? Persecution takes all kinds of forms and some are more insidious than others. Facing immediate death and self destruction may actually be easier than standing against the slow nibbling of Satan at our souls for a lifetime. Have you ever seen a boa constrictor eat a mouse or swallow an egg (a symbol of life)? Ya, that kind of slow. Many of us are being digested slowly by the old serpent even now. We are persecuted by the temptations of this world and it's a continual blast of  

pleasure seeking activities designed to pull us into the mouth of this cursed, belly crawling, ancient viper.

Suffering for the faith can come in many ways. In Iran a believer might be beheaded or hung or crucified. In North Korea you might get sent to a prison farm for the rest of your life. In China you might face a firing squad.

But in America and the West, we are slowly drawn away from Him who saves us when, by the pleasures of this world, we become distracted. It begins with temptation. We believers tend to take the blame for temptation to sin upon ourselves, seeing it as a product of our own broken flesh. In the Bible however, it is Satan that always brings temptation. His success is measured by our own gullibility and weakness. Temptation is a form of persecution that can bring a lifetime of suffering to those that would fight it. Yet we are called to fight it until the day we meet Jesus. And so Peter writes, "...prepare your minds for action, be self controlled..."

So how do we do this and do we really do it ourselves with our own willpower?

Paul addressed this issue many times to many churches.

II Corinthians 10:3-5 

 3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Romans 12:1,2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ephesians 6:10-20

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against [a]flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 [b]in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 [c]With all prayer and petition [d]pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, [e]be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, 19 and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in [f]chains; that [g]in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Again, it all sounds easy; to be prepared for spiritual warfare, living lives of self control, but I believe it is the single hardest thing to do in the Christian life. Denying the flesh is painful and if one has a constant reminder of what one is denying that is built into that very flesh, the path is even more tortuous. Denial and sublimation can easily lead to failure. Paul knew about this too.

II Corinthians 12:7-10

... Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong...

When I read all these kinds of things in scripture, I am amazed. I have trouble finding this kind of power in my life - either that - or it's there and things would be much worse without it, without my faith. One must have perspective as well as a plan I suppose.

Anyway...

I do know one thing. If the day comes that I pass through the Pearly Gates of Heaven, it will not be because I was a tower of self control prepared for action. It will only be by the grace and love of Jesus Christ. The Serpent still stalks me. His charms are disarming. I am lured by the smoothness of his speech. He is indeed subtle and crafty. One would almost think he loves me. He is a dirty bastard. I'm not sure what God was thinking when He created this one. That alone would be a week's worth of blog posts.

Time to mow the lawn.