News Of The Week In Review (NOTWIR)

Wow...I think I'm free! Tuesday was my last day of in office work. Monday, May 1, I get 'offboarded'. I know. It sounds like water boarding, but it should be painless. I got a nifty bird feeder from the crew in the office.

On Wednesday I prepped for my colonoscopy. Do I know how to celebrate retirement or what! I enjoyed a liquid diet of chicken broth, white grape juice and green Jell-O throughout the day. Then at 4 PM I began drinking a gallon of liquid laxative. I had it all down by 5:30 PM, but the festivities on the porcelain throne began at about 4:40. The great fountains of the deep were broken up and the great purge began in earnest. I was down to a trickle by 8 PM, but that continued off and on until the next morning. By that time I was hungry, dehydrated and had a headache, but my appointment was not until 11:40 . It was a long Thursday morning. My uncle picked me up for the trip to the Iowa Digestive Disease Center. You have to have a driver because they give you sedation during the procedure and they don't want you driving home in case you were 'over served'.

When I arrived and got checked in I found folks from church in the waiting room. Gary was having the same procedure with a different doctor. His wife was there as driver. After some brief fellowship, I was shown to my stall, assigned a gown and a gurney and stuck with an IV. Moments later I was rolled to the procedure room and was met by Dr. Ravi and some unspecified nursing assistants. I was told to roll over on my side. I could see a large monitor above me and some other equipment and suddenly I was very sleepy. I was in and out during the entire process and have some recollection of seeing the inside of my large intestine on the screen. I saw Dr Ravi snip my two polyps. I could also feel the pressure of the carbon dioxide they had pumped into me for an improved view. It was like the worst gas pain ever, but strangely, it all came out of me in recovery and rather quickly.

Dr Ravi said the polyps were small and nothing to worry about. He was sending them to the lab anyway to be sure, but I still have to go back in 5 years.

The conspiracy theorist in me says there were no polyps, either this time or the last time, and it's all just a racket to enrich underemployed proctologists and insurance executives. Is that possible? Wouldn't they get caught? Maybe, maybe not. I know that after I got home, I figured out they had shaved my butt fuzz. I'm as smooth as a baby's backside! So they did something down there. Whatever. Everything still works.

When I got home, I had some scrambled eggs....NOT.

I grilled a couple of London broils from Fareway and had a salad with it and a couple of Corona's. Tasty to a starving man.

Friday morning I slept in and then did some banking and shopping later followed by a nap and then some reading. Had salmon fillets and steamed broccoli for supper with some white wine (more white grape juice only with some age on it).

Today I have laundry and studying to do. I also need to visit the post office and the Caribou drive thru. I've been mowing on Sundays, but it's supposed to rain today and tomorrow, so I'm, not sure when that will happen again. But I'm retired, so does it matter really? Everyday is Saturday and Sunday when you're retired right? That's what Les Lourens told me.  So I guess I'll just sit here and watch the birds. Here's one now...    

Looks to be an Eastern Bluebird clinging to the tree in my front window. Probably waiting for a bug to come along. Oh the excitement. It's about more than I can take. Too bad it's so dang cold. I could go fishing. Later friends. I think I have lunch scheduled with an angel or two or three tomorrow after church. We will see what develops.