News Of The Week In Review (NOTWIR)

Wow...I think I'm free! Tuesday was my last day of in office work. Monday, May 1, I get 'offboarded'. I know. It sounds like water boarding, but it should be painless. I got a nifty bird feeder from the crew in the office.

On Wednesday I prepped for my colonoscopy. Do I know how to celebrate retirement or what! I enjoyed a liquid diet of chicken broth, white grape juice and green Jell-O throughout the day. Then at 4 PM I began drinking a gallon of liquid laxative. I had it all down by 5:30 PM, but the festivities on the porcelain throne began at about 4:40. The great fountains of the deep were broken up and the great purge began in earnest. I was down to a trickle by 8 PM, but that continued off and on until the next morning. By that time I was hungry, dehydrated and had a headache, but my appointment was not until 11:40 . It was a long Thursday morning. My uncle picked me up for the trip to the Iowa Digestive Disease Center. You have to have a driver because they give you sedation during the procedure and they don't want you driving home in case you were 'over served'.

When I arrived and got checked in I found folks from church in the waiting room. Gary was having the same procedure with a different doctor. His wife was there as driver. After some brief fellowship, I was shown to my stall, assigned a gown and a gurney and stuck with an IV. Moments later I was rolled to the procedure room and was met by Dr. Ravi and some unspecified nursing assistants. I was told to roll over on my side. I could see a large monitor above me and some other equipment and suddenly I was very sleepy. I was in and out during the entire process and have some recollection of seeing the inside of my large intestine on the screen. I saw Dr Ravi snip my two polyps. I could also feel the pressure of the carbon dioxide they had pumped into me for an improved view. It was like the worst gas pain ever, but strangely, it all came out of me in recovery and rather quickly.

Dr Ravi said the polyps were small and nothing to worry about. He was sending them to the lab anyway to be sure, but I still have to go back in 5 years.

The conspiracy theorist in me says there were no polyps, either this time or the last time, and it's all just a racket to enrich underemployed proctologists and insurance executives. Is that possible? Wouldn't they get caught? Maybe, maybe not. I know that after I got home, I figured out they had shaved my butt fuzz. I'm as smooth as a baby's backside! So they did something down there. Whatever. Everything still works.

When I got home, I had some scrambled eggs....NOT.

I grilled a couple of London broils from Fareway and had a salad with it and a couple of Corona's. Tasty to a starving man.

Friday morning I slept in and then did some banking and shopping later followed by a nap and then some reading. Had salmon fillets and steamed broccoli for supper with some white wine (more white grape juice only with some age on it).

Today I have laundry and studying to do. I also need to visit the post office and the Caribou drive thru. I've been mowing on Sundays, but it's supposed to rain today and tomorrow, so I'm, not sure when that will happen again. But I'm retired, so does it matter really? Everyday is Saturday and Sunday when you're retired right? That's what Les Lourens told me.  So I guess I'll just sit here and watch the birds. Here's one now...    

Looks to be an Eastern Bluebird clinging to the tree in my front window. Probably waiting for a bug to come along. Oh the excitement. It's about more than I can take. Too bad it's so dang cold. I could go fishing. Later friends. I think I have lunch scheduled with an angel or two or three tomorrow after church. We will see what develops.

Spring Is Now In Progress

If we can avoid a late freeze, things should continue to pop in the coming weeks.

The Hostas Are Coming Along Nicely

The Fruit Trees Are Blooming

The Red Bud Trees Are Doing Their Thing

I'm ready. Let there be Spring. I wish it was Spring all year long. It's my favorite time of year.

This Takes The Cake

I received my retirement cake today. I love it. My mascot is popping up out of the middle of it. The cake is delicious. Very dense chocolate espresso cake with the obvious chocolate icing. Everyone seems to know that I live in a hole. I'm good with that. Great cake.

Resurrection Sunday

Jesus Christ Lives. There is no doubt in my mind about it. He is my Lord, my Savior and my friend. Even though I have never met Him in person, I seem to miss Him. It's a feeling that is all to appropriate for someone that is almost 60 years old. I will see Him soon enough, maybe sooner than I think. I want that. I want to bend the knee and offer thanks. I think I may also have some questions. But maybe they won't matter when I meet Him in Glory.

This is the time of year when God brings life from death. I have had a season of that, the winter of my discontent as it were. I am ready for new life. I see it all around me. The fruit trees and flowering trees are blooming; . The lawns are turning green and lush. Everything is beginning to surge with new life and a new season when those things that were dead live again.

I feel it too in my 60 year old body. I feel renewal. There is an adventure coming and I think it might be here. I may be enjoying Paradise before I actually go there. Jesus said that in the world we would have trouble. I say bring it. I'm feeling so full of Him today. I think I could handle anything.

I went to church today and while it was a bit long, it was good. I had Easter lunch at my cousin Alison's. Everything was delicious. I saw the new generation enjoying themselves with the old and I had hope. The Church on earth has new servants at the ready to replace us when we go. Their life will be different than ours as will be their challenges. They will enter the age when humans and machines begin to merge. It will be interesting to see how they deal with it. Where will the Church stand on enhancing the brain and body with microchips and circuits that allow for direct connection to all knowledge and extend life expectantcies?

I also find myself wondering how I will depart this earth. Retirement is now 2 weeks off. This is in some ways the beginning of the end. But it's also, the beginning of the beginning. Eternity will be glorious. And since it lasts forever, procrastination should not be a problem,

But what about now? What do I do now?  Well, I've been cleaning out the gardens and mowing the lawn. But what else? Many have been concerned about this, trying to find me new things to do, new things to help with. My thought is that the Lord will provide. If He wants me to do a particular thing now that I am leaving the working world, I am sure He will show it to me. I think I will know what it is when I see it too. We will see. The adventure is just beginning. Thanks to those who were concerned and were trying to help.

My immediate concern is to make Mom.and Dad's place bloom again and to make repairs to the house that are needed. I find I like it here and I want to live here. I may be tired of it by the time I am done. That remains to be seen. But it is a quiet and restful place where I can work to subdue the earth and then relax with a beer under a shade tree on a deck. It will prepare me for heaven...Yes it will.

I like my burrow. I like having my alone time again. It is good to return to hermitage. Strangely, I do not feel alone. He is with me. My fellow citizens in the kingdom keep me from isolation. All is good. It seems to be ending well.

The Easter Bunny Is Dead

Something beheaded and gutted a rabbit in my front yard last night. I found the carcass this morning on my freshly mowed and formerly beautiful lawn. It was carnage of the worst sort. Fluffy fur all over the place. I thought about including a picture here, but then I thought it better not too.


It occurred to me at first that it was my 'friend', the Owl, that committed this bloody atrocity, and it could have been. It just seemed like the rabbit's head was too neatly removed for that to be the case. Even so, I suppose she could have taken the head back to the nest for her babies to nibble on. Or perhaps the rabbit was an infidel and the Owl is from ISIS.  Whatever happened, the head was missing, gone, not to be found. It all seemed very odd that the head would be missing while the meat on the carcass was left to dry in the morning sun. Whatever it was might have been trying to make rabbit jerky I suppose.


Then there is always the possibility that one of my neighbors is a Satanist and this was some sort of sacrifice and warning to get me to move away. I am always looking for a good conspiracy. Perhaps they are in league with the Owl to get me to sell out and move on.


I ain't goin. So let the carnage continue. And if I see that owl within shooting distance, I'm gonna show her the business end of my 410. I will endanger her ass. I know she and her family have to eat, but they need to clean up their mess. Just sayin.

I Mowed the Lawn Today

I think I understand Dad a bit better than I did before today. I mowed the lawn. I saw possibilities. I saw the need to subdue nature. I saw the possibilities that God gave us through creation. I wanted to bend it for the glory of God and for myself.

God does it. We manage it. It's beautiful. I understand my parents a bit better now. They wanted to take what God gave them and make it into a praise to Him. It was their offering for what He gave them. I am so pleased with what they did for Him. I will try to make my sacrifice as worthy.

Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace

There has been a great deal of conversation in the working world about attitudes and ethics of the millennial generation in the work place. Simon Sinek gives us some insight in how to deal with them. My personal thought is that their attitudes are contagious. I have seen 'Millennial' attitudes crossing generations, inclusive of baby boomers. It seems to me that every generation since the 1940's has some sense of entitlement and that is really what is at the heart of the 'Millennial' attitude. The video is interesting, educational and even funny. Simon is a bit of a comedian. Please watch.  

The Buzzards Are Back

I just noticed this morning that the Turkey Vultures have returned. They are interesting, but ugly (or should I say butt ugly) creatures. They glide the skies for what seems like hours in search of dead things to eat. There seems to be no shortage of carrion. Roadways are littered with the carcasses of jay walking rodents, marsupials, canines, felines and the occasional deer. I think it's the reason there are so many crows, vultures, owls, eagles and hawks. They will all settle for something dead if they can not get a fresh kill. You would think these lesser animals would learn how to cross the road, but no.

The owl that lives in the timber at my place was out late yesterday afternoon trying to catch baby squirrels in the treetops. They are amazing flyers that seem to be able to dodge and navigate through tree branches to get their prize. Owls creep me out. They make these horrendous noises in the pitch black darkness, they can turn their heads in what seems like 360 degrees and they can see like it was broad daylight at 3 AM.

Anyway, now that the buzzards are back, that just leaves the orioles. They should arrive between now and the first week of May. I think I will dig out some of Dad's oriole feeders. They are a beautiful bird. Enjoyable to look at and listen to.

A terror struck me this morning. With all the rain we've had, I think I may actually have to mow the lawn before May. I am going to have to get out there anyway. I need to remove some of the detritus from the gardens too. City Gardens should be out in May to put down some mulch and help with the rest of the clean up.

Dad about mowed the lawn to death last year. It's like he was planning to take it with him. There are many patches of bare ground that need seeded. The clover and dandelion are thick too. I may have to have someone out to do a weed, feed and seed type thing to the lawn. It will probably cost some bucks, but I seem to have no shortage of those right now. I will probably wish I had it back when my investments go south. Oh well. At least the lawn will look nice if I have to sell.

I will be working today. Off again tomorrow. After Friday, I will be left with one vacation day and 4 sick days to take between now and May 1 and then....then...I will be unemployed. I am going to try and schedule one of those days for April 18th. I want to inter Dad's ashes over at the cemetery on his birthday. I have to call the digger too. I don't want to do anything but drop him in the hole, say a quick prayer, mostly for me, and get outta there.  

Things left to do before May 1:

Approve my new Will.
Set up my new health insurance
Sell my stock and roll over my 401K
Advise Social Security that I am retired and will not collect anything until I am 70
Gather documentation for probate

Things to do after May 1:

Sell Mom and Dad's cars.
Sell Dad's boats
Sell my condo
Get estimates and begin repairs to the house
Mow the lawn again and again and again
Come up with something for Karla and I to teach this summer for our Sunday school class.

It will all be harder than you think. I am a procrastinator and lazy. You may have not known that about me, but it's true. Why do today what you can do later right?

So much for my 'dear diary' entry for today. And you would do well to ignore my paranoid ramblings from last night. When I woke this morning, I was sure I was wrong about my 'intuition' from the night before. Odd how it works. A little sleep can make all the difference with mental health. Don't let yourself get tired, hungry or lonely. It can cause all kinds of delusions. Sometimes I'm just whacked. It's probably going to get worse before I die, so buckle your seat belts. I see turbulence on the radar.

But right now, the seat belt light is turned off. Please feel free to get out of your seat and move about the cabin. I will advise if things change. Off to work now. I'm sure they've missed me. Later  

The Answer Is No

I had an intuition tonight and it's been getting stronger and stronger, so I need to put it to rest. I will be glad to find out I am wrong about this, but I cannot get away from the way it has come together in my head.

So... you know who you are and the answer is no.

I do not need or want a roommate.

In 1981 I started out adult life living alone. I got used to it. I liked it and then that was suddenly interrupted in 2011. I lived with my Dad for 5 years and 8 months. I had to do it. There was no choice. He could not live alone. He needed me.

That is not the case any longer. My life has returned to it's natural state and I aim to keep it that way. It is so good to have a place where I can hide again, shut away from the world, shut away from responsibility and to be alone with my own thoughts.

For what it's worth, you need to know that I had roommates in college and it never worked. One of us always had to move.

Friends, I am impossible to live with. I do what I want when I want to, I am bossy, I am sarcastic and snotty and mean and I seem to enjoy it, especially when it's all at the expense of another; innocent and kind though they may be. I am a bad example and bad company.

I am good with someone one on one for about four hours and then I want whoever it is to go home or to go home myself. I could not deal with someone being in my home all the time, bringing their friends and 'business associates' over at all hours of the day and night, tearing up the furniture and and and...  

You also need to know that I do not need a house sitter. I am not going anywhere for any length of time for at least two years. There is much to do here in terms of repairs and yard work and such. I do not need someone under foot, even if they are paying rent.

And speaking of that, if you need help putting this person up in an apartment, I may be able to help that. I am much better at writing checks than being tolerant of the presence of others.

So, again, the answer is no, no, no. Are we clear??? Good. I love you. Now go away.


Update: I cannot rent my condo either. There are HOA regs that will not allow that at this time.