It's odd how conservative evangelical churches have become such 'family oriented' institutions. It's as though we expect the future of the church to be in those families; that new converts will come from those families and the church will actually grow or at least maintain it's present configuration if we just take care that families are able to pass down knowledge of the one true faith to future generations. This is coupled with a fortress mentality. We have to circle the wagons, raise the drawbridge and close the fort gates to keep the evil influence of the world out to protect our families. We go so far as to set up our own schools or homeschool so that children of Christian parents are not exposed to anything secular that might contaminate their Christian culture. The notion of being secure in our faith through strong families that protect their own from outside, worldly influence has become a sort of mantra in our churches. We worship at the altar of the Christian family as the basis and future of the church.
This is not New Testament thinking. This is not what Christ and the apostles called us to do. We are not the families and tribes of ancient Israel being called by our God to seize the land and wipe out the inhabitants.
The Church is the Kingdom of God, ruled by her King, Jesus Christ. It is His command that we occupy the land and live with the 'Canaanites' of our day. Instead of becoming fort dwellers that preserve what we have, we have been commanded to open the gates and let the 'Canaanites' in. We have to live in our world and understand it, expanding the Kingdom accordingly, one body at a time.
No where in the New Testament are we commanded to 'focus on the family' to expand or maintain the Kingdom. The current focus of the evangelical church is just this however. It is idolatrous. It is exclucivist. It is white middle class Christian Americans that are concerned they are losing their place to a world bent on self destruction. It all springs from a desire to preserve something that is not part of the New Covenant in the first place.
As I search the Bible and try to find one happy marriage and one well adjusted family - I find none. What I do find are individuals that have found peace by knowing Jesus Christ and practicing their faith.
Jesus and Paul were not married men. Some think that Paul was divorced and that may well be. Whatever the case, the two did not recommend marriage or family life. They thought it got in the way of our greater purpose, which is, according to them, expansion of the Kingdom. Both of them said that if you can live life without marriage, then you should do it.
And all that brings me back to what the Church is as a body. It is diverse. To be sure, there will be large numbers of families, but there are also others. The elderly, the widowed, the divorced and those that choose or must remain single for the sake of the Kingdom and salvation. The church cannot be the vast and growing Kingdom of Saints that Christ intended if we are always focused on bulding stronger families.
The only family that needs to be strong is the family of God. That family is made up of individuals that must respond in faith to Christ and live accordingly in community with others of like precious faith.
And this is the hard part for me. I am not one to live in community with anything except the birds and squirrels. I am not a people person. It is actually hard for me to be in a group for any length of time. People just suck the life right out of me. There are many reasons for this, all revolving around who I am and how I am made. Even so, I have to recognize that I am not the only one in the church, that God put me with a group - His Kingdom - and like it or not - His people are good for me. Interaction is good for me. Human contact is good for me.
I've been rereading some Don Miller (Blue Like Jazz). He talks about a period in his life when he lived out in the country away from everyone and how being alone effected him. He said he would talk to himself outloud. He would invent stories about people he saw. But what he said he noticed the most was that the longer he was isolated from people, the more difficult and tiring people became. He thought that the only cure for this was to submerge himself in a group and so he lived in community with 5 other guys from his church. That turned into quite the adventure.
My point here is that I understand what he is talking about. He's right. I do talk to myself outloud at home all the time. I do invent stories in my mind about the people I see, but never talk to. I really like being by myself. I like being single and my philosophy has always been that it's OK to be lonely as long as you are free. And it's possible to be lonely even if your social calendar is completely full. Think about that all you single people. You know it's true.
So while I sit here bitching about the church's focus on families and talking to myself, I need to be thinking about returning to humanity and bulding more of a presence in church. I can't just sit here typing all this crap and never try to do anything about it or refuse to become part of the solution. It all seems so unpleasant to me at almost 60 years old, but I will be dead soon and it will be too late.
OK Lord, let's see if this turns into anything. I've taken a shot at everyone including myself. Let's see if I hit anything. Lord, we need to talk.......
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Be Gentle.