Reflections On My 40th Anniversary- To My Brethren and to the Leadership at the Rising Sun Church of Christ

Those that know me will realize immediately that this is not about my 40 years of marriage. They will also know all too well that this is not about my 40^th birthday. No, this is one of those strange anniversaries that only Jesus Christ can make possible. It is, in many respects, a happy occasion for me, but it has also been a trail of tears and suffering with more than a little spiritual and mental anguish and loneliness.

It was 40 years ago, at the age of 21 in May of 1979, that I said I would never have sex again.

Prior to that, it had been crisis time for me. I had come to grips with the fact that I was same sex attracted and more and more I knew that this was never going to change. My anger about this with my Creator was indescribable. I rebelled in a big way. At the first opportunity, I took up with a young man of nearly my own age and we were together for about 18 months. At the end of it, which came at my graduation from college, I said to myself that it would never happen again.

I was in no condition, at that time, to be making vows. My faith was exhausted; it was based on a flawed theology and a spiritual condition that reflected more death than life. And even though I was not talking to God in those days, He seemed to be reaching out to me, protecting me and loving me as a father should. He protected me and enabled my promise and helped me find my way back to His church. And I know now, as surely as my hair is turning white, that He will bring me to the finish line.

So how do I celebrate such a strange and wonderful anniversary? With thankfulness and gratitude to Jesus Christ who saved me all those years ago and to some others. I want to thank the leadership of my church and my brothers and sisters in Christ, my extended family and my friends.

Indeed, to all those that continue to accept me in fellowship as a brother while knowing the best kept secret of my life, please know this. I love you all more than you know and I would encourage you to continue pushing yourselves to continually expand the borders of your grace and love and most especially in the face of those that say you’ve gone too far. Thanks so much my friends.