A Gay Christian Reading List

I know. More gay stuff. Do I ever get tired of talking about it? Well, actually, no. I am obsessed with educating people about this particular issue. Christian people need to know that it's possible to be same sex attracted and also a child of God. Christians need to know how to deal with their gay friends and family members just as Jesus does. Christians need know what it's like to grow up gay in the church. All of the things and more are included in the reading list below. I would encourage you to seek out copies of these books and learn to love and empathize with my people.  Most of these are available on Amazon except where otherwise noted.

1.  "Guiding Families of LGBT+ Loved Ones" - Click on the title to find this one. This is an excellent primer for families and friends to reference. If you go to my church (you know who you are), it is available at Home Pointe for free and as long as supplies last. I may also be able to help you find a free copy.

2. “Messy Grace” by Caleb Kaltenbach

3. “Washed and Waiting” by Wesley Hill

4. “Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity” by Gregory Coles

5. “All But Invisible” by Nate Collins

6. “A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood and Same Sex Needs” by Tim Timmerman - may be hard to find

7. “People to be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue” by Dr. Preston Sprinkle

8. “Understanding Gender Dysphoria” by Mark Yarhouse

9. “Struggle Central: Quarter-Life Confessions of a Messed Up Christian” By Thomas Mark Zuniga 


This is by no means an exhaustive list. There are other publications available, but these I would recommend as a good start. Happy reading. 

Is It Possible To Be A Gay Christian?

It's an interesting question. It's interesting because it seems to be in contravention to what we learn in the New Testament about who we all are in Christ. If we have truly repented and died to our sinful past, if we are trying to enjoy the increasing sanctification of our spirits in denial and mortification of fleshly desire (sin in the body) why would anyone label themselves in such a fashion?

I think the key word in that last question is the word, "label".

There is a subtle, but important difference, between a label and a life experience. Same sex attracted people experience life through a different lens than most everyone else. Christians that experience same sex attraction understand this immediately and for us, it can shape our path toward sanctification, our relationship with God and our relationship with each other up to and including our relationships with straight same sex Christians.

So, I think the other key word here is "experience". One of humanity's most primal drives is sex. We know from Jesus, the apostles and the prophets that God's view of human sexuality gives only one approved option for sexual expression - marriage between one man and one woman for life. Anything else is sexual immorality and is roundly condemned in scripture.

Having said that, we have to ask, what if you experience the drive toward sex in a different way? What if the flesh is bent in such a way that the God approved expression of human sexuality is not possible? Christians that experience this are left with few options. We can enter into marriage with someone of the opposite sex with the hope that God can help us redeem same sex desires through partnership with a heterosexual or we can choose celibacy. Both paths can be difficult and fraught with potential pitfalls and, were it not for God working through his Holy Spirit in our lives, no Christian dealing with same sex attraction would be able to stand. Praise the Lord for his mighty hand and work in our lives.

All of this is to say that when you hear someone call themselves a gay Christian or a same sex attracted Christian, it does not mean we are labeling ourselves. It is instead, a description of our particular spiritual experience as we move toward more and more sanctification.  Dealing with this experience has taken me a lifetime. Please do not discount it if you hear me call myself gay or same sex attracted. I mean, how else would you know my life experience as a Christian? How would you know what I have to deal with on a daily basis in the spiritual sense? I hope that's important to you as a believer.

Do you see what I'm getting at? I hope so. It is not a good time in the Christian world to get hung up on labels. We need to come together to fight our common enemy. Satan hates all of us and the brokenness of human sexuality in general has been a major wedge he has successfully driven in to the lives of otherwise spiritually healthy believers. We cannot let this happen anymore. Divorce and sexual immorality in our culture is a major problem and it has infected God's church to such a degree that younger generations are rejecting the faith as just another version of the same culture they live in, but with hypocrisy. We have to take a united stand against sin within the church and especially sexual sin because it is of the body; the same body where God's Holy Spirit dwells. We can do this by supporting each other and NOT quibbling over labels.

What Did You Have For Lunch?

This 70.00 burger is available at a restaurant in Massachusetts and free if you can eat it all.

I Joined A Secret Club

I joined a secret club today. As a conspiracy theorist, you would think I would be ashamed of my hypocrisy. Secret societies are allegedly responsible for the downfall of western Christian civilization. The Freemasons, Skull and Bones, the Illuminati, the Club of Rome, the Ku Klux Klan and the Bohemian Club are just a few of the fraternal orders that seek to control the levers of power in public and religious institutions and government.

But the group I joined is not like these. It is, shall we say, a para-Christian fraternal order of celibate, same sex attracted brothers in Christ that have come together to support each other. Though I am not fully initiated in rites of this organization as yet, I believe what I will find is a group of men gathered in the name of Jesus to serve Him and each others. At least I hope that's where this is going. We will see.

Some of you that know me are already seeing potential problems here since I don't always socialize well. I like to argue. I enjoy humor that is at another's expense - sarcasm, irony, pathos - the list goes on. I enjoy crushing the traditions of others and tend to be intolerant of people that disagree with me...which is really everybody when I think about it. It's a wonder I have friends at all, but I digress. It makes you wonder how I even got into a church.

I'm kidding...mostly.

So why did I join this group? It's a logical question. I was thinking the other day that all of my close friends are straight with only a couple of exceptions that come to mind. These two are special to me, but they never seem to want to talk about the struggle. If they don't want to, I have respect that. It can be difficult to be in the closet and also express what you are feeling about SSA life with another person. I was in that situation for decades and I could not take it anymore. I had to come out. I needed to talk. And I might also add that my church has been very supportive and I appreciate that more than they will ever know. It's just that I need a group of friends that get me. I need to be with my people to a certain extent. I hate being the only one in the room. Sure, I'm a white guy and I blend in well, but now that everyone knows, I have become a minority within a minority. I imagine them seeing a little rainbow over my head amongst everyone else's halos, every time they look at me.

What I really want is a group of people like me at church. I'm sure those words just made my pastors and elders cringe if they are reading. But we need it. And more broadly, we need to minister to all the singles at church without pushing them toward marriage. If we want to marry, and God supports the idea, we will find a way so quit pushing please. It is not necessarily the Christian answer to all things sexual - maybe for you, but not for everyone. (see how tolerant I'm becoming)

So wish me the best on this adventure in which I endeavor to be part of a group. It may just kill me or be the best thing yet.

My Thoughts on The Future of the American Church - My Opinion

At 60 years old, I find myself wondering what my church will look like after I'm dead or maybe 100 years from now. Will it still exist? Will it have been transformed into something else more liberal and wishy washy? Will the rise of Islam in America turn it into a mosque?

My local church has been around since 1856 and I know much has changed since that time, but fundamentally, we still believe the same things about our Lord, the faith and the Bible. I would like to think that will continue, but who really knows? We are in an age of flux. Things could change for us and other churches that identify as evangelical and conservative.

So what is ahead for the American Church? How does the commitment of future generations of Christians, or even the ones coming up in the Church now, stack up against the pillars of the past in the American evangelical church? Will they do church in the same way we do, or is our current pattern of worship dying out? Will the emphasis still be on real estate heavy infrastructure or will there be a move to something simpler? What will this future Church be doing that might be considered spiritual and obedient to the Word of our God and will it be different from what has been our vision? These are valid questions, and frankly, they are my questions right here and now.

The pre World War II generation of American Christians is just about gone. Us Baby Boomers are getting quite long in the tooth. The Gen X youngsters in the church are looking for new ways, and the Millennials are gonna be trouble in my estimation. Those that come after the Millennials could go many ways. They could be more conservative than their forebears and create a movement within the Church of 'back to basics' or they may opt out all together. As I see it, it will be the Millennials that influence whatever comes after us Baby Boomers in the Church and this will in turn influence those that come after them. The future of the Church belongs to the Millennials.

Us Baby Boomers are passing on a considerable legacy to Gen X and the Millennials. It is both good and bad to some extent. We tend to be solid in our beliefs, we are not afraid to reach out in faith, even when there is a cost attached and we tend to respect tradition and the idea of the nuclear family. The problem is that this is also our weakness; it is what will drive many Millennials to rebellion against what we see as the Biblical Church.

The Baby Boomers are also leaving considerable monetary debt, both in terms of government debt and in terms of Church debt. The Millennials arrive in adulthood with much debt themselves. Enormous college loans and a future house payment will leave them debt slaves for decades. Their taxes will rise to pay off Baby Boomer desire for both guns and butter and the last thing on their minds will be financing a real estate centered local church. They will be looking for options and the Churches will have to be ready to respond with new ideas.

Do we need these enormous temples filled with multi media equipment, comfortable chairs, church nurseries, on-line sermons, websites and classrooms? Is this not overhead that is unaffordable and uncalled for in the Bible? Are we wasting valuable resources and sacrificing missional outlook when we opt for comfort and convenience over the bare essentials? Are we not called to stewardship of what God has given us and did He not tell us to care for widows, orphans and the poor?

In a day when churches have such immense sums of money within their congregations, is it right to spend it on comfort? Is this what we've come to? Are we just playing 'church' or are we serious about saving souls? (We must be because we pay men to do it for us. Please forgive my sarcasm. I know that there are men called to do exactly that.) 

I am trying to make you all think here people. We do a lot of extra biblical things today in our pursuit of the faith. We need to be more forward looking. We can worship in a pole barn or a rented warehouse and be planning a less expensive, more expansive future if we consider some of these questions now and arrive at sound Biblical answers.

I heard someone say last night that visiting outsiders will judge us by the appearance of our building. The backdrop of that was that ancient Israel let the temple go into decay and became separated from God. My thought is that they became separated from God when they had the wrong priorities. They worshipped other gods and completely forgot about Yahweh and His Law.  And so the temple began to fall apart.

I personally think that outsiders are likely to judge us by our hearts to see if we are like Jesus or are just interested in more bread and circuses. I also believe that the Millennials will be most concerned with this question and NOT....is the building nice.

The future of the American Church is really in God's hands. If we fail to see the writing on the wall and reform our ways, He will do it for us. That's just how much He loves us.

I truly believe the day is coming when tithes will no longer be tax deductible. Churches will be taxed on both property and income. And pastors will be forced into paying social security taxes. It may even become illegal to be Christian. I think we need to prepare for this.

Beyond that, I think the modern evangelical church needs to look at it's idolatry of family in an open an honest way. Millennials and those that come after are going to be far less likely to marry early and many are going to opt for no marriage at all. They have seen and experienced the divorce culture both inside and outside the church and they have realized that it may well not be worth the effort.

We have to do something with and for our singles membership besides simply pushing them toward marriage. Single people need options for service and they should not be disqualified from service for that reason alone.

Think about the future my Brethren. It will not be like what has gone before. We need to be thinking about these things now before it's too late or the Lord has to step in to fix it. God shattered Israel like a pane of glass to fix her. What will He do with His Church? 

A Prayer of Frustration

Lord  when we talk it's always the same
Thanks for this and for that, and so glad that you came
Please help me, please fix me, please make me all right
I just need me some peace so I can sleep tight

It's peace that I'm after and not so much stuff
A quieted mind without all the fluff
I stress about life with it's miseries
I just want to scream when I fall to my knees

Lord I can take much with regard to the pain
In my heart you rule, in my mind you do reign
 But I'm still confused by the whys and the hows
And your purpose perplexes, makes me say 'holy cow'

Why did you bless me with desires in my flesh
That bring condemnation and create such a mess
And who do I blame if it was not You?
It was surely not me that brewed such bad stew

I will accept blame when control is my lack
I will own my behavior, It's mine to attack
But where comes the desire that I did not ask for
Is my flesh bent from Man's fall to the floor?

That my life should be strict, this I can accept
To not act on vile urges, this You can expect
But the urges themselves, from whence do they come?
They seem right to me, but the Word says that's dumb

If I live my life as seems to me normal
Then I go to hell and that will be horrible
So love is denied me in the physical sense
A touchless lifetime at sex's expense

To not know another as normal folks do
To live life alone when alone just won't do
It makes me angry and it makes me so sad
It makes me blame you Lord and that makes you mad

I'm sorry to blame you, I know it's not right
But I'm not right either and so thus I fight
To fight with my God, How stupid this be?
I lose everytime and You laugh much at me

Is this anyway to relationship make?
I guess it's a start if my soul You would take
Seems I start with a fight and I end with a whimper
Cause I need Your love without all the temper

You are my Abba, there's no way around it
That I don't understand You, that's what confounds it
I want to know You and I want to know why
I want You to fix it, but You only sigh

I know your love cost You and that it saved me
I know I am not as You'd have me to be
But I know too that I did not choose this
My thorn in my flesh is what makes me diss

You say sin is sin, that it's all just rebellion
And I try very hard not to be such a hellion
But when they are bent, these urges most primal
I'm so ashamed for it's sin in the Bible

To be like me, to want the unnatural
All hope becomes lost, condemnation is actual
I want what I want and that it be right
But you say that it's not and that makes me uptight

Finding reason and ration for why these things are
Has drawn us closer from times we were far
If this is Your point and Your purpose be this
Was there not some way other - other than this?

You say, "who are you boy to question your Lord"
I say, "I'm just asking, please sheath the sword"
Of clay I am made by Your Potter's hand
A vessel with purpose your design surely stand

What was it You wanted when you made me?
A vessel of wrath, my destruction soon be?
Or was something noble your plan and design?
In the hearth, in the kiln with great heat refined?

I hope that last bit is what you intend
And that you somehow can make my will bend
To go through this life with love unrequitted or
To end this life in hell just to be spitted

This I would ask, that not be your plan
Please help me to deal and to not want a man
If need be, please take me, please show me how
To lose sex's desire and to lose it all now

It's too late by this time for me to go straight
But to go forward now it's still not too late
To be neutered at this point would not matter to me
It would simplify life so free I could be

Just take this thing; just take it from me
Burn it in fire so  no one can see
All the blame and the pain  and reproach on myself,
The guilt and the shame and the sinning in stealth,
The fear for my life and my spiritual health,
I would have it end now, if it takes all my wealth

I'm bored by it all -I just want it over
Let it end with us being just that much more closer
Take me your vessel, and now fill me up
Wash me clean of the poison, make me your favorite cup
There on Your table by Your throne I would sit
I would bask in your power as You keep heaven lit

So do not depsise me when my thoughts wander
Please allow me some grace and some mercy to ponder
Let me feel your presence residing in me
Empower me now so I can be free

Thanks for loving and listening and being my Lord
I long for the day when I'll be restored
But for now I'll be happy to be your cup broken
With the cracks and the chips and not just some token.

The Madness Of Jordan Peterson