Random Events and Coincidences In Life

Yesterday was a good day to be in church. The pastor was in top form. He had just returned from a mountain retreat and he was well rested, relaxed and ready to go. The delivery, organization and research for the sermon was among his best. One of the major premises of the sermon was, however, in my view, incorrect and misleading, bordering on dangerous.

Let me say at the outset that this is my opinion. Most others present would agree with the pastor and I would be in the very small minority (as usual). Neither is this a personal attack on the pastor. I consider him my friend and I have a great deal of respect for him as a vocational minister. He is very good with people. It is his gift. You cannot go away feeling bad after talking to him. If you do, it's probably because you are the problem and not him.

I would also say that this may be one of those times where I point out a distinction where there is no difference. Perhaps we just have two ways of getting to the same place. I do not know. We will see.

My point of disagreement comes when he says that there are no coincidences in life or random events. Everything that happens in our reality has purpose and even a divine purpose for us and that we ourselves have special and specific purposes in this life.

I do not think this is correct or biblical or even close to being true and it might even be dangerous for young Christians to entertain these ideas as they were presented. Perhaps it is half true. I might be able to meet him there. Let me explain.

I would say that most events in the lives of rank and file Christians ARE random and / or coincidental. God is not directly involved in most of them unless we invite Him to help us deal with them. He has a general will for all our lives as revealed in the Bible. He has also created us all with specific abilities to enable us to serve Him in unique ways, unique specifically to ourselves and maybe a few others.  Our calling in service to Him is to use the tools he gave us to react to the randomness and the coincidental events in our lives.

Learning to recognize these events should not be necessary or even required if we are following God's general will for us outlined in His scriptures. Our reaction to these random life events should simply be our automatic Christian response; our use of our God given abilities. None of this requires any specialness of purpose. Consider this parable.



Two parents give their children coloring books and two different sets of crayons each containing different shades and hues. They ask their children to work together to complete the coloring books to the best of their abilities regardless of what might come up on its' pages. The only thing the parents ask is that the children stay within the lines of the book's images to ensure a beautiful and unique product. Everything else would be up to them as they move from random image to random image.

And so the children begin their work, forced to cooperate because of the distinctiveness of their individual crayon colors and artistic skill levels. They have everything they need to move through this task as it was provided by their parents. Now if they refuse to do the work or ignore their parent's instruction about how to do it, they will have trouble coming their way. Obedience is their key to success.

And this is the way it is with us. We do not know what will come up in our life coloring books, but if we do the will of our Father and we use what He gave us, everything will be better because of the freedom He gave us to decide how to complete the task set before us. We are not special. We are not equal in our abilities. We are merely different in our approach and talent as we react to life's randomness and work together toward that end.

The danger in telling someone that they have a special purpose that no one else has should be self evident. When we become filled with the notion of specialness, we begin to view ourselves in a different light. We may even think more highly of ourselves than our brethren or at least more highly than we ought. There is also the danger of disappointment and loss of faith when the random events of our lives smack down that alleged specialness and we realize we are mere mortals after all.

Generally and historically speaking, the only people that seem to have special purpose and significance in God's overall purposes are those directly called by Him and those He speaks directly to. The Bible is filled with these people (prophets, apostles, etc) , but it is also filled with people that did God's will without any 'special' calling. They were merely obedient to what they knew from scripture was His true and perfect will.

To conclude, I would say that life is mostly random, meaningless, labor intensive and painful (see Genesis 3). It's what we do with what we've been given that makes it worth every one's time. While God is in control, He is not a control freak. He has given us decision making power - a bit of His sovereignty - to make life here a little less nasty and brutish, though short. We have the crayons. We just have to stay within the lines. Now go do some coloring.

The Trump - Putin Summit

What is with the panic mode that every one in the press and in the intelligence community is enjoying in the wake of the Trump - Putin Summit? Nothing was decided. Nothing was signed. No one gave anything away. And yet, everyone seems appalled that our President actually tried to talk to the man with the power to destroy Europe and The US.

Forget the old adage, 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' and realize that without dialogue, the danger of war increases daily. So what if the Russian Federation meddled in our election? It's not like we have not done the same to them and scores of other countries around the world. We are responsible for coups all over the world. The war on terror has been a war to destabilize governments throughout the Mideast. This did not stop terrorism, but it did cause a flood of immigration into Europe and the US, the greatest invasion of sovereign nations in history.

This is the kind of thing the US intelligence community has been up to in just the last 20 years. Knowing this, why should Americans believe the US intelligence community when they say Russia tried to influence our elections?

My belief is that they have an agenda, a plan for the world, that does not have the best interests of the United States as first and foremost in the scheme. I am beginning to believe that they want a new cold war with an old enemy or maybe even a hot war. What's the motivation for this you ask? Increased military and intelligence spending. Enrichment of defense based industries. Strengthening of the security industrial complex.

The horrors of a war with Russia should be enough to bring anyone to the peace table. Even if it were merely a ground war, the casualties would be astronomical. Both Napoleon and Hitler thought they could take Russia. Both were summarily defeated. And a nuclear war with Russia would devastate the entire planet.

We have to talk to them. Control your Trump Derangement Syndrome long enough to realize that this is what needs to happen. It's time to move on people. Trump was heroic in Helsinki. He and Putin broke the ice. Let's move forward.

The Neighbors

I am a people watcher. I may have picked up the practice from my Dad. I remember when I was a kid going to lunch with him in the summer. We would get our fast food and he would then drive us to the local public pool. We would sit in the car in the pool parking lot next to the pool fence and eat. While I was engrossed in my food, Dad would be engrossed in the pool activity. I always thought there was something a bit perverse and voyeuristic about this practice, but it was also fun and funny to watch half naked people interact at the swimming pool. I always liked it when the life guard would get into it with a seven year old over the pool rules. The life guard was inevitably a high school sophomore that thought he was the local swimming pool god and the seven year olds at the pool would invariably try to undermine his alleged authority. Dad, however, seemed to be looking at something else. It was kind of disturbing and I will not go into, suffice it to say we were not watching the same things.

I still watch. People are fascinating. Say what you will, I like to watch people. I like to imagine their life stories. to pick up clues as to who they are and what they do and whether they are happy, or angst filled or depressed or whatever. It is the soap opera in my mind and it's better than TV. Today I am at a local lake contemplating some fishing and watching people as I type this stuff. I also frequent grocery store parking lots, fast food restaurants and coffee shops to watch the human drama. I can't seem to get enough of it. Finding a place to sit and watch on a cool day at the Iowa State Fair is another favorite. That's next month.

And that brings me to my neighbors. Some of you know that I moved back to my townhouse on the south side that I left 7 years ago. I am glad I did not sell it. I enjoy this little community where all the homes are exactly alike and all the people are completely different. To sit on my porch and watch in the early evening; that is one of my great pleasures. You can hear 4 or 5 different languages spoken as people groups walk by on the sidewalk. You can see men holding hands and rednecks with their confederate flag t-shirts and African Americans listening to rap. We are a very mixed group and I have invented life stories for all of them in my head. I will not testify to the reality of my head based drama, but I am to the point where I would like to test if my perceptions are anywhere near correct.

My next door neighbor is a single foster mother. She came home with her foster son before I moved out. I do not believe he was more than 7 years old at the time. When I moved back, he had become a young man that needs to shave and his mother seems daily frustrated by the fact that he does not take care of himself. One day he locked her out of the house. She sat outside in her lawn chair talking to him through an open window. He eventually let her back in the house, but the through the window conversation centered around her son's need for privacy. In my head, I imagined that she had found his porn stash and so the battle ensued.

My neighbor across the street is single. She likes my flowers. She moved into the hood in May. She is close to my age, but still works. Her children and grandchildren visit her with great regularity as does a man about my age with Warren county plates on his cars. I imagine this is her brother. I further imagine that she is divorced, that her husband left her for a younger woman or man and that the bitterness of this has all passed. I also think she is a nurse....she just seems like a nurse to me.

Another neighbor across the street that moved in back in May spent a great deal of time remodeling the place before he took up residence. He's about 26 years old, seems to be in a security oriented occupation and carries a hand gun. He is a single father of a son not more than 4 years old. His son is currently not with him. I assume he went to spend the summer with Mom in some other place not close to Iowa. He also has regular visitors. Two young females will show up at his house, sometimes with a baby that's not quite 2 years old. Sometimes they will leave the baby with him. I believe that one of the young women is his sister and the other a friend of both and that he baby sits for them. From what I've seen he seems to be a good father and a good friend. I gave him my old lawn chairs and table for his front porch and told him he could use them until he found something he really wanted. He still has not replaced them.

He also has something close to a complete gym in his garage; weight machines, free weights and a heavy bag that I have seen him beat the crap out of on several occasions. It is my guess that he is ex-military, that he was never married to the mother of his son and that he may have met her while serving somewhere.

On my side of the street next door to the foster mother is a corner unit that was purchased and occupied in June. Two young men moved in and set up housekeeping. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that they were newlyweds buying their first house, but this may not be the case. One of them could be the owner renting space to a friend or they could be two straight single guys buying a house together and building equity rather than paying rent. The possibilities are endless and they seem entirely mismatched if they are a couple. They do things together, mainly bicycle riding and I have never seen them touch each other. One of them is about 6'4" and weighs about 190 lbs with black hair and a scruffy beard. I believe he is Asian, but it's hard to tell with his thick glasses. The other one is about 5'9" and weighs about 135 lb. He has no facial hair at all, is Caucasian and blond.

The blond has a personality and a sense of humor. He drives a black KIA Soul and was in the driveway washing it last night when I came home from Redfield. I asked him if it was a good idea to wash his Soul right out in the open like that and he started laughing and said that someone had to do it. I said that it must be hard to keep such a dark Soul clean. Again laughing, he said, 'who are you' to which I said, 'I'm your neighbor' and walked away to take my groceries inside. his roomate is a dullard by comparison, creepy quiet and Aspie like in his demeanor.

Next door to my security oriented neighbor lives an old lady. I say old. She's about my age. She lived there before I left and she was still there when I came back. We all believe she has a direct line to the home shopping network. UPS and USPS stop at her place almost daily with packages. She cannot park in her garage because it is stacked floor to ceiling with these boxes. I imagine that she is a hoarder. I envision her living space clogged with stacks of coveted items she never uses and well worn paths through the house for her and her two yappy dogs that seem to hate everyone except her. She has also been trying to get every one's voting proxies for HOA meetings without success. Not sure what she's up to there, but we may find out. I did not give her mine.

When I lived there before, I did not go to the HOA meetings because I was working. Now that I am retired, I may take an interest. It could well be time to overthrow the existing council and take over. It would be a good way to see if my assumptions about my neighbors are correct. It would also be a superior position from whence to watch my neighbors and interact with them. I kind of want this. We will see. 

Skip's: A Restaurant Review

There's a group of single guys from church that I take a meal with every other week. There are usually 5 of us in attendance. It's a great time for a bit of fellowship and good food. We've become a sort of eating club, dining at area restaurants, but we have gotten in a bit of a rut because we eat at Skip's now almost all the time. There is a reason for that.

Skip's is located on Fleur Drive near the airport in what was once a house. For years before I ate there I thought it might be a funeral home. It definitely looks like one. Fortunately it's not. The food is good, moderately priced, something available for all pocketbooks, a comfortable and welcoming atmosphere and of course, our favorite waitress...Jodi. Jodi has been known to sit down and enjoy an adult beverage with us at the end of the evening. It's a nice personal touch and she is very conversational.

Back to the food. I have tried most of their beef entrees, their walleye and the lemon garlic shrimp over linguine. All were always cooked properly, very tasty and made fresh. The steaks are hand cut. They have something called a pork shank over rice that I have been tempted to try, but it has a bone in it. I hate paying for something I can't eat. Cod, tuna steak, tilapia and Salmon, all prepared in interesting ways, are also available. There is a wide range of chicken and pasta dishes too and tonight may be the night for Chicken Jalapeno or maybe Cavetelli. I'm not sure yet. My favorite sides to go with my entree are roasted asparagus and a salad. I have tried the rice pilaf. It was good, but not great. I am told that the garlic mashed potatoes are also a winner.

Appetizers. I like Skip's onion rings, I have had the Shrimp Diablo (shrimp sauteed in red pepper garlic butter) and it was excellent, but expensive. The other guys in the group enjoy the Bruschetta. I do not for reasons I will not go into except to say it has to do with me being a picky ass eater.  I would like to try the Calamari and I might order that tonight with the onion rings. We always get the large order of onion rings since there are 5 of us. That might be too much for a smaller group. Think the half order.

Desserts. We do not always get dessert, but in the past I have tried their chocolate cake, key lime pie and also the creme brullet. All of them were excellent meal toppers, but my favorite was the key lime pie, both sweet and tart and very smooth.

They also have a nice, very efficient bar. Specialty drinks are available at a premium. I had a dreamsicle martini one night. It was $9.00. It was very good, but it was so not worth it. They make a good Moscow Mule if you like such things They also have all the popular and local craft beers and a short but good wine list. If you want to bring your own vino, you can. There is no corkage fee.

If there are drawbacks to Skip's or negatives, I would say they are minimal. They do not take reservations, so you might have to wait 30 or 40 minutes, unless you arrive early, between 5 and 6 PM. If the place is packed, the noise level can be high. It's also very dark inside, but I think that's more of a personal problem. No one else seems to mind.

So....Skip's gets a 4.5 star rating from me. I like it, but really guys, shouldn't we try some other places?   

Queer Eye: More Than A Makeover---A Review

A couple of years ago, there was a TV show called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". There were 5 gay guys on the show that essentially taught straight guys how to dress and carry themselves in public.

I never watched it.

Right now, there is a spin off to that show on Netflix called "Queer Eye: More Than A Makeover". It is currently in its second season and I had not watched that show...until last night. I watched the first episode of season two and I have to admit, the show was very interesting for a number of reasons that I will get to in a minute, but first, I have to tell you this.

There is a blog that I visit several times a day called Your Other Brothers. The guys that write for the blog and run it are all same sex attracted Christian men that practice celibacy to remain obedient to Christ. The blog is a good place for people like me. I especially like the way they challenge us not to be afraid to love without falling in love or in lust. The approaches to this vary a great deal and many of the blog members and commenters discuss what's OK for them in the realm of SSA behavior. For instance, should SSA guys identify as gay? Is that too worldly? Can we or should we go to a same sex wedding? Are gay pride parades off the table? How do we deal with emotional dependency? Can we have side A friends?  These guys talk about everything including porn and masturbation. They shy away from nothing. Everything is on the table and I believe it's a good thing in the end to support a venue such as this for gay Christian men. We need a place to discuss this stuff that would drive the average straight Christian from the room screaming, 'unclean, unclean'.

Anyhow, yesterday, one of the writers posted a story entitled, WHY I LIKE “QUEER EYE”. The writer was talking about the rebooted show on Netflix and his article became quite controversial. There were many reactions. Most of the guys under 40 years old had watched it and saw nothing wrong with it. There was some disagreement among us who are over 40 and more conservative in our opinions. I was originally on the fence, thinking this was a gray area like eating food sacrificed to idols, but then I decided to watch episode one of season two and, I thought the message was good.

The cast and crew of the show went to a very small town in Georgia called Gay. Yes, there is apparently such a place. They went there in response to a need brought to their attention by one of the members of the community. A small church of mostly African Americans was trying to complete a sort of community center for the town. The Queer Eye guys became involved in these efforts and they also became involved with the church and one specific family matriarch and her son in the church. Makeovers happened for both of them.

The underlying theme of the whole show seemed to be tolerance and acceptance; that even though there may not be agreement about what's moral and what is not, LGBT people and Christians can still get along and show love to each other and help each other. Some of the Queer eye guys had grown up in the church and had bad experiences. In Gay, Georgia they learned that Christianity can be a positive, loving faith. The church members learned that they needed to love everyone, even if you disagree with them in the hopes of winning them over. There were any number of good things on this particular episode. I am not sure about the other episodes and I will probably not watch them, but this one I can recommend to Christian friends interested in a life of peace and not conflict.

Flowers

The flowers at my townhouse on the south side of Des Moines are looking rather spectacular. I think it's because of all the rain; 15 inches in the last two and a half weeks. So I thought I would post some pics. Here ya go.

You may have noticed that I have a predilection for impatiens, coleus, hostas and clematis. These are all plants and flowers that do well in shade or part shade environments. I gravitate to them because I have a northern exposure and also, I think they are beautiful. I particularly like the wide variety of coleus that is available. Their foliage is beautiful. Next year, it may be all that I put in. We will see.

Split

I watched a movie on Amazon Prime last night called "Split". Let me say first that there was never a dull moment in the film. For the entire duration of the film, 1 hour and 57 minutes, I was either on edge or so pulled in by the characters and what I was learning about them, that I refused to pause the film and get up even to pee. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you like psychological thrillers, you will probably enjoy "Split".

What's it about? Without giving away too much, it's about a critical time in the life of a man with 23 distinct personalities. Kevin Wendle Crumb (played by James McAvoy) begins to experience lost time. This is because his other personalities, the most malevolent ones, push him and the others out of the way and take over. The psychological term for his condition is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder.

In the film, one of his personalities kidnaps 3 high school girls while another personality begins to email his psychiatrist for appointments because of the lost time and fear that something awful has happened. Kevin's psychiatrist in the film, Dr Karen Fletcher played by Betty Buckley, sort of guides us through the film and runs into problems toward the end of the movie. The whole thing is a frightening spectacle of what can happen to a person when they have experienced a childhood filled with severe traumatic abuse.

Throughout the film, a new personality is emerging to take over and control the other 23 and bring consistency back to Kevin's life. Unfortunately, the consistency is not a positive development. What emerges is a man that believes humanity can only be pure if they suffer and #24, the Beast, promises to bring that suffering to fruition.

The film is directed by M. Night Shyamalan. I have learned, since watching "Split", that he also directed a film called "Unbreakable" in 2000 starring Samuel Jackson and Bruce Willis. The only reason I researched this was because of the cameo appearance of Bruce Willis at the end of "Split". Apparently the two films are tied together in some strange way and there is a third movie due to come out in 2019 that will bring the two films together along with their characters in a very mind shattering way. The film will be called "Glass".

I have not watched "Unbreakable" yet, but I intend to. If it is even half as entertaining as "Split", I will be pleased and also ready for "Glass".

The acting in "Split" is over the top. Everyone in the film seems extremely skilled. I would give it 4 out of 5 stars and recommend that you watch it.