I was trying to read an article in Relevant Magazine entitled, "Can Christians Still Influence American Culture?" It was mostly an interview with Rick Warren. I admit to not getting through the whole thing, but there were two salient points that did not escape my current ADHD demeanor.
The first was that in the early days of the church, there were no church buildings. Christians met privately in homes or outdoors in the countryside mostly to escape notice of the authorities. They did this because Christianity was illegal. It was not exactly an urban faith centered in a community building bustling with activity. Faith was a 'one on one' thing. People heard the Good News from a friend and individual lives would change.The social side of Christianity had not yet developed. People did not show up at a church door in need of counsel or material help or out of spiritual destitution. There were no professional "God minders" that you could visit. Christians actually shared their faith with people as they saw the need.
When bubonic plague spread in the major cities of the empire, the inhabitants left in droves to avoid illness and left the sick to die alone. It was at this point that the Christians moved to town to care for the dying and show them the compassion of their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
The early Roman Christians offered two things to their culture. Hope from the gospel in one on one situations and compassion for the poor, weak, sick, injured and troubled.
How did we lose that explosive combination of cultural influence?
Instead, today we focus on political means to affect cultural change. "If only we can elect 'John Smith'. He's a Christian. He will reignite respect for the 'Christian way of life' in our once Christian nation." Or..."if we just vote for this party". Or..."if we can just pass these laws" everything will be all better.
If you believe any of those things, you are ignorant beyond measure. We cannot use secular power and the tools of men to achieve God's purposes. God can and does. We cannot. In times passed when church and state have worked together, it is the church that has always been corrupted. The two should never be united. They should always be at cross purposes. When the brutality of the state is crushing the people, it is us that must move into the current meme and practice our faith as laid down by our Lord. We must offer hope and compassion to oppressed people.
It is only in this way that we will be able to influence our culture for Christ. Faith, Hope and Love...but the greatest of these is Love.
The second thing I got from the article was that law is downstream from culture. By the time we get around to pushing for laws to limit behavior, the poison is already in the water. Instead, we need to focus our efforts upstream of government and law and politics. Cultural influence in our society starts in the arts, sports and entertainment fields. To this I would add, in the home.
When Christians work and act as Christians in these areas, it can have an effect. People notice. Faith is an attractive thing when it has legs and arms and cares.
We cannot force the world to change with the power of government or law. We might make them behave differently, but they will be resentful of the perceived oppression. And why should they obey God's laws and morality if they are not believers?
Faith comes by hearing my friends. We have to tell them why they need Jesus and we have to be compassionate and loving about it. When they come to belief, then the culture will change. When the culture changes then the governments of the world will change.
From the bottom up. That was the original strategy. It's why there is still a church today. We need to be doing that again.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Political Commentary
Yes, I suppose that's a warning. You never know what you're going to get with me and politics. I am not predictably conservative or liberal. I am all over the board. At the core of my political views is this:
The government should build roads and bombs and stay the heck out of everything else.
Ya, I am a minimalist when it comes to government. Recently, however, I have come to the conclusion that government, as it is now constituted, is committing suicide on purpose. There is not so much a redistribution of wealth going on as there is a rearrangement or erasure of national borders. It's like the store is open and everything is free for as long as it lasts if you decide to move now. It is happening all over the world, it seems purposeful and planned. Some nations are taking extreme measure to prevent this wave of immigration from taking over their country. Walls are being built in Hungary. Extreme right wing political parties are taking power in Europe. Great Britain has freed itself from the Eurobeast and France has outlawed the burkini at beaches. Indeed, it would seem that the natural home of white people in Europe is being enveloped by a brown tide from Syria, Lebanon and the African continent.
Here in America, the brown tide is mostly from Mexico, Central American and points south. There is some African and middle eastern influences in the current immigration wave and these also seem to be the dangerous ones that spout the need for Sharia law, halil food products, female circumsicion and spousal abuse.
And so the culture wars are on in Europe and America. There seems to be a silent war on the rank and file Caucasians in the west. It's like those in power want to dilute our IQ's and skin color with other genetic strains, the purpose of which can only be deemed as nefarious.
Do I say this because I am a racist NAZI sympathizer bent on extermination of everything except white folks?
No, you ignoramus.
I say this because without white folks, y'all are gonna die.
We are the most productive and innovative race on the face of the earth. Many IQ studies confirm that we are also the most intelligent of the human species. You need us. If you dilute our gene pool or wipe us out, you will all end up turning our lands into the same rat infested, 3rd world cesspools you left in your own countries. If you expect to just move in and live as we do, you will find it more than difficult and if we are gone, there will be no one to pay your bills.
So....I support the likes of Donald Trump, Nigel Farrage and Viktor Obran.
Viktor's recent words ring true and should be applied here in the US...
“Today it is written in the book of fate, that hidden, faceless world powers will eliminate everything that is unique, autonomous, age-old, and national. They will blend cultures, religions, and populations, until our many-faceted and proud Europe will finally become bloodless and docile. If we resign ourselves to this outcome, our fate will be sealed and we will be swallowed up in the enormous belly of the United States of Europe.
We must therefore drag the ancient virtue of courage out from under the silt of oblivion.
First of all, we must put steel in our spines, and we must answer clearly, with a voice loud enough to be heard far and wide, the single most important question determining out fate. The question upon Europe stands of falls is this:
Shall we be slaves – or men set free?”
It needs to stop. This mass immigration needs to stop. The random destruction by the west of these immigrant's homelands needs to stop too. They come here and to Europe because of the Zionist neocon warmonger's need to control and reorder the world. Neoconservatism is nothing more than Trotskyite Marxism in a Brooks Brothers suit anyway. We have to rid ourselves of it. It is the vile poison behind this mess and it must be stamped out. It crosses party lines in Europe and the US. You will have to work a bit to find people that know the truth, but they are there.
Here in the US, Donald Trump is talking the talk. We may well have the opportunity to see if he can walk the walk. I am excited about the possibility of a reboot in America's right wing. In Europe, the answer may a bit more toxic. People are angry there and rightly so. Liberal, socialist Europe is about to convulse and the outcome may be more extreme than here.
So be it. Let the revolution begin.
The government should build roads and bombs and stay the heck out of everything else.
Ya, I am a minimalist when it comes to government. Recently, however, I have come to the conclusion that government, as it is now constituted, is committing suicide on purpose. There is not so much a redistribution of wealth going on as there is a rearrangement or erasure of national borders. It's like the store is open and everything is free for as long as it lasts if you decide to move now. It is happening all over the world, it seems purposeful and planned. Some nations are taking extreme measure to prevent this wave of immigration from taking over their country. Walls are being built in Hungary. Extreme right wing political parties are taking power in Europe. Great Britain has freed itself from the Eurobeast and France has outlawed the burkini at beaches. Indeed, it would seem that the natural home of white people in Europe is being enveloped by a brown tide from Syria, Lebanon and the African continent.
Here in America, the brown tide is mostly from Mexico, Central American and points south. There is some African and middle eastern influences in the current immigration wave and these also seem to be the dangerous ones that spout the need for Sharia law, halil food products, female circumsicion and spousal abuse.
And so the culture wars are on in Europe and America. There seems to be a silent war on the rank and file Caucasians in the west. It's like those in power want to dilute our IQ's and skin color with other genetic strains, the purpose of which can only be deemed as nefarious.
Do I say this because I am a racist NAZI sympathizer bent on extermination of everything except white folks?
No, you ignoramus.
I say this because without white folks, y'all are gonna die.
We are the most productive and innovative race on the face of the earth. Many IQ studies confirm that we are also the most intelligent of the human species. You need us. If you dilute our gene pool or wipe us out, you will all end up turning our lands into the same rat infested, 3rd world cesspools you left in your own countries. If you expect to just move in and live as we do, you will find it more than difficult and if we are gone, there will be no one to pay your bills.
So....I support the likes of Donald Trump, Nigel Farrage and Viktor Obran.
Viktor's recent words ring true and should be applied here in the US...
“Today it is written in the book of fate, that hidden, faceless world powers will eliminate everything that is unique, autonomous, age-old, and national. They will blend cultures, religions, and populations, until our many-faceted and proud Europe will finally become bloodless and docile. If we resign ourselves to this outcome, our fate will be sealed and we will be swallowed up in the enormous belly of the United States of Europe.
We must therefore drag the ancient virtue of courage out from under the silt of oblivion.
First of all, we must put steel in our spines, and we must answer clearly, with a voice loud enough to be heard far and wide, the single most important question determining out fate. The question upon Europe stands of falls is this:
Shall we be slaves – or men set free?”
It needs to stop. This mass immigration needs to stop. The random destruction by the west of these immigrant's homelands needs to stop too. They come here and to Europe because of the Zionist neocon warmonger's need to control and reorder the world. Neoconservatism is nothing more than Trotskyite Marxism in a Brooks Brothers suit anyway. We have to rid ourselves of it. It is the vile poison behind this mess and it must be stamped out. It crosses party lines in Europe and the US. You will have to work a bit to find people that know the truth, but they are there.
Here in the US, Donald Trump is talking the talk. We may well have the opportunity to see if he can walk the walk. I am excited about the possibility of a reboot in America's right wing. In Europe, the answer may a bit more toxic. People are angry there and rightly so. Liberal, socialist Europe is about to convulse and the outcome may be more extreme than here.
So be it. Let the revolution begin.
Jennifer
All right. Some of you were a bit put off yesterday when I characterized certain of my more negative personality attributes as a red headed female bitch named Jennifer. I am thinking that you do not understand.
First, she is not my version of Katlyn, Bruce Jenner's alter female ego. I have no desire to be female. Besides, Bruce is still not really female. He may have grown a pair of tits with the help of some female hormones, but he kept his 3 piece set and I expect he will reverse the whole process before he dies. He never did any of it because he liked men. I think he still likes women, even in his current female persona. I guess that might make him a trans lesbian with equipment to please everyone, but I digress. I will never understand how a world class athlete could take the risk of messing up his body in that way.
Second, a friend sympathetic to my plight, suggested that in the spirit of 'Messy Grace', I should invite Jennifer to church. I think he was trying to make a joke, but here's the deal.
He and everyone else at church that interacts with me at all has met Jennifer. If you ever have seen me pissed off or read one of my written diatribes, it usually comes from her. Jennifer is at church every week. It does her no good. She is irredeemable and spiritually unresponsive. She is wholly and completely depraved. She cannot be saved and I intend to send her straight to Hell before I die.
I have chosen to give a name to all the evil that was in my closet. I have named her and given her a sexual identity. She has gender, hair color, beautiful eyes and a seductive voice. She is a vile manipulator of human kind and she must die.
I chose to personify my more prurient desires and behaviors because it is easier to fight something with a name that can be identified. I can almost see her now. Instead of a pathetic pile of boxes that contain all my neuroses and sin urges, I now have this image of evil that I can hate and detest and judge. And since she is female, she holds absolutely no attraction factor over me. She is a bitch. I am going to kill her and send her straight back to Hell....which is where I think she came from in the first place.
One more thing...the next time you see me DO NOT ask me, "is Jennifer is here?" She will probably slap you or scorch you with words. There is no reason to get her all fired up. Instead you could help me destroy her by ignoring her. She hates to be ignored. It seems to hurt her. She likes to fight. DO Not engage her. Instead, trust me to kill her. It's going to happen. I will not take her to my grave. She is marked for death.
First, she is not my version of Katlyn, Bruce Jenner's alter female ego. I have no desire to be female. Besides, Bruce is still not really female. He may have grown a pair of tits with the help of some female hormones, but he kept his 3 piece set and I expect he will reverse the whole process before he dies. He never did any of it because he liked men. I think he still likes women, even in his current female persona. I guess that might make him a trans lesbian with equipment to please everyone, but I digress. I will never understand how a world class athlete could take the risk of messing up his body in that way.
Second, a friend sympathetic to my plight, suggested that in the spirit of 'Messy Grace', I should invite Jennifer to church. I think he was trying to make a joke, but here's the deal.
He and everyone else at church that interacts with me at all has met Jennifer. If you ever have seen me pissed off or read one of my written diatribes, it usually comes from her. Jennifer is at church every week. It does her no good. She is irredeemable and spiritually unresponsive. She is wholly and completely depraved. She cannot be saved and I intend to send her straight to Hell before I die.
I have chosen to give a name to all the evil that was in my closet. I have named her and given her a sexual identity. She has gender, hair color, beautiful eyes and a seductive voice. She is a vile manipulator of human kind and she must die.
I chose to personify my more prurient desires and behaviors because it is easier to fight something with a name that can be identified. I can almost see her now. Instead of a pathetic pile of boxes that contain all my neuroses and sin urges, I now have this image of evil that I can hate and detest and judge. And since she is female, she holds absolutely no attraction factor over me. She is a bitch. I am going to kill her and send her straight back to Hell....which is where I think she came from in the first place.
One more thing...the next time you see me DO NOT ask me, "is Jennifer is here?" She will probably slap you or scorch you with words. There is no reason to get her all fired up. Instead you could help me destroy her by ignoring her. She hates to be ignored. It seems to hurt her. She likes to fight. DO Not engage her. Instead, trust me to kill her. It's going to happen. I will not take her to my grave. She is marked for death.
Monday, August 29, 2016
The Red Headed Bitch Within
Some of you have met her. She was in my closet when all the other stuff came flying out last year. She was in there with all the anger and hate and envy and lust and desire and, and, and... I have been trying to kill her, but she just will not die. I thought she would leave once we were out of that closet. No such luck. She is a real bitch and it looks like we are stuck together until the end.
She is the part of me that is snotty, sarcastic, cynical and mean spirited. She is a horny slut, always scoping out the guys and looking for trouble where there is none. She is a red headed bitch that is impossible to live with. She is me at least in part. I think she is what I would have been had I been born female and not reborn as Christian.
Praise the Lord for that last bit. He is the only one that has any control over her and she has been a bit uppity since last November. You can't spank her either. She likes it. What are you going to do with that?
I will name her Jennifer. Sometimes she seems very real to me. We do not talk, but I always know what she wants when she's about and she is always there urging me on.
Someone suggested that she was just Satan in a disguise. Maybe. Far be it from me to say anything nice about the Accuser, but really, I do not think he wants to deal with her. She might take over Hell and then where would the Devil go. Ya, she's that bad.
I'm thinking now that since I have identified her and named her, maybe she will not seem so fearsome and be easier to keep in check. I hope she's been through menopause. I cannot imagine what that would be like. Or maybe I can. Maybe that's what's happening right now. If so, when it's over, she should be calmer right?
This is what it means for me to live by faith and not by sight people. I have to live with Jennifer all the time. Someday when I get rid of this body, she will be gone. Her days are numbered. I just have to remember to put on my 'glasses'.
She is the part of me that is snotty, sarcastic, cynical and mean spirited. She is a horny slut, always scoping out the guys and looking for trouble where there is none. She is a red headed bitch that is impossible to live with. She is me at least in part. I think she is what I would have been had I been born female and not reborn as Christian.
Praise the Lord for that last bit. He is the only one that has any control over her and she has been a bit uppity since last November. You can't spank her either. She likes it. What are you going to do with that?
I will name her Jennifer. Sometimes she seems very real to me. We do not talk, but I always know what she wants when she's about and she is always there urging me on.
Someone suggested that she was just Satan in a disguise. Maybe. Far be it from me to say anything nice about the Accuser, but really, I do not think he wants to deal with her. She might take over Hell and then where would the Devil go. Ya, she's that bad.
I'm thinking now that since I have identified her and named her, maybe she will not seem so fearsome and be easier to keep in check. I hope she's been through menopause. I cannot imagine what that would be like. Or maybe I can. Maybe that's what's happening right now. If so, when it's over, she should be calmer right?
This is what it means for me to live by faith and not by sight people. I have to live with Jennifer all the time. Someday when I get rid of this body, she will be gone. Her days are numbered. I just have to remember to put on my 'glasses'.
Living By Faith and Not By Sight
In II Corinthians 5, Paul tries to explain to his readers how the bodies we live in now will not be the bodies we spend eternity in. After we die, our spirits will be disembodied for awhile and then we will learn what it really means to be alive when we receive our new eternal bodies. I suppose these bodies will be much like the one Jesus received at His resurrection. That should be kind of kewl. He could walk into locked rooms without a key. He could disappear in an instant and be somewhere else just by thinking about it. He could also sit down for a meal with friends and make physical contact with the men and women of this present world.
So...We will not be mere spirits in phantom bodies. We will be more alive than ever before and it will be forever. Happy Day eh!
Along about II Cor 5:7, Paul says that while we are in our present physical bodies that are prone to death and decay, we must live by faith and not by sight, and that mostly to keep hope alive for a better day, Resurrection Day!
What does all that really mean though, when applied to life here on earth where everything seems just nasty, brutish and short lived?
Every morning when I get out of bed, I go through this exercise to shed myself of the need for vision assistance. I do not have my glasses on. I do not immediately put them on. I want to see how long I can go without them. It is easier for me than most because my vision issues are a bit peculiar. I experience double vision because my 'headlights' are not in perfect alignment. When I get up in the morning my eyes are rested. They are not straining to stay straight (pun intended). I live without my glasses as long as I can because I hate being dependent on anything other than myself.
But as the stresses of the coming day begin to sink in and I settle into the life routine, my eye muscles begin to tighten up and two of everything begins to appear. I try closing one eye and that works for awhile, but when you can't reach your toothbrush because you have no depth perception, you know your in trouble. At this point the glasses go on. One lens has a prism in it. I do not know how it works, but suddenly I see perfectly, not through a mirror darkly, not with two of everything, but with one perfect vision of my world. I suddenly know where I am going and what I am doing and I can live and work unencumbered by my natural vision.
Do you get where I am going with this?
I spend way too much time without my glasses, trying to see things my way. Life here for me was not intended to be that way. I need my glasses, my faith, so that I am not deceived by my eyes. Depth perception is important in life. My faith supplies that when I use it, but more often than not, I find myself trying to rely on my own natural strengths. Those never last very long. I cannot see without my faith. Why do I think I can?
So...We will not be mere spirits in phantom bodies. We will be more alive than ever before and it will be forever. Happy Day eh!
Along about II Cor 5:7, Paul says that while we are in our present physical bodies that are prone to death and decay, we must live by faith and not by sight, and that mostly to keep hope alive for a better day, Resurrection Day!
What does all that really mean though, when applied to life here on earth where everything seems just nasty, brutish and short lived?
Every morning when I get out of bed, I go through this exercise to shed myself of the need for vision assistance. I do not have my glasses on. I do not immediately put them on. I want to see how long I can go without them. It is easier for me than most because my vision issues are a bit peculiar. I experience double vision because my 'headlights' are not in perfect alignment. When I get up in the morning my eyes are rested. They are not straining to stay straight (pun intended). I live without my glasses as long as I can because I hate being dependent on anything other than myself.
But as the stresses of the coming day begin to sink in and I settle into the life routine, my eye muscles begin to tighten up and two of everything begins to appear. I try closing one eye and that works for awhile, but when you can't reach your toothbrush because you have no depth perception, you know your in trouble. At this point the glasses go on. One lens has a prism in it. I do not know how it works, but suddenly I see perfectly, not through a mirror darkly, not with two of everything, but with one perfect vision of my world. I suddenly know where I am going and what I am doing and I can live and work unencumbered by my natural vision.
Do you get where I am going with this?
I spend way too much time without my glasses, trying to see things my way. Life here for me was not intended to be that way. I need my glasses, my faith, so that I am not deceived by my eyes. Depth perception is important in life. My faith supplies that when I use it, but more often than not, I find myself trying to rely on my own natural strengths. Those never last very long. I cannot see without my faith. Why do I think I can?
Sunday, August 28, 2016
An Attitude Adjustment
I have mentioned this before. When I came out last year, there was more than just an old queer in that closet. Boxes of anger and hate and pride and envy and snottiness and desire came tumbling out too. Indeed, in some respects, it seems like those things were worse than what I thought was the main thing - homosexuality.
I had gotten to a place in my life where I thought those things were gone or at least controlled. I now know that was not the case. I had spent my life repressing the more negative emotional parts of my personality along with my sexual desire. Also repressed were love, affection, sympathy and empathy. It's hard to release even one of those positive emotions without the other nasty stuff bubbling to the top eventually. Better to be dry and as emotionless as possible than a mass of oozing, hand ringing feelings that leave one perpetually disturbed.
I have been thinking lately that I want to put it all back in the closet, that I want life to go back to how I was before, when I was neither naughty nor nice. I guess I was icy. That would be the best description. Whatever. There was peace on the outside; nevermind the mess on the inside.
However, putting all that stuff back in the closet is problematic in the extreme. It's out now. People have actually seen it and felt it. You have seen it. I am sorry I have exposed you to it or even inflicted it on you. You deserve better than that from me.
So....I have to find a way to shift this load of negativity and desire that I am enjoying without losing the positive side of being out of the closet and free from the self imposed emotional repression.
I do not want to go back into isolation, but letting things loose is not the answer either.
I need an attitude adjustment. I do not know how to get there. What do I do with all this pain and anger I have been collecting? I can't just dump it on people as I have been and expect them to understand why I'm such a mess.
Lord, please help me shift the boxes from my closet. Please take them somewhere and destroy them. I cannot do this myself Lord. Please make the outcome a positive thing for me and for those around me. Let the last years of my life be useful and enjoyable for others and You. Thanks Lord. Amen.
I had gotten to a place in my life where I thought those things were gone or at least controlled. I now know that was not the case. I had spent my life repressing the more negative emotional parts of my personality along with my sexual desire. Also repressed were love, affection, sympathy and empathy. It's hard to release even one of those positive emotions without the other nasty stuff bubbling to the top eventually. Better to be dry and as emotionless as possible than a mass of oozing, hand ringing feelings that leave one perpetually disturbed.
I have been thinking lately that I want to put it all back in the closet, that I want life to go back to how I was before, when I was neither naughty nor nice. I guess I was icy. That would be the best description. Whatever. There was peace on the outside; nevermind the mess on the inside.
However, putting all that stuff back in the closet is problematic in the extreme. It's out now. People have actually seen it and felt it. You have seen it. I am sorry I have exposed you to it or even inflicted it on you. You deserve better than that from me.
So....I have to find a way to shift this load of negativity and desire that I am enjoying without losing the positive side of being out of the closet and free from the self imposed emotional repression.
I do not want to go back into isolation, but letting things loose is not the answer either.
I need an attitude adjustment. I do not know how to get there. What do I do with all this pain and anger I have been collecting? I can't just dump it on people as I have been and expect them to understand why I'm such a mess.
Lord, please help me shift the boxes from my closet. Please take them somewhere and destroy them. I cannot do this myself Lord. Please make the outcome a positive thing for me and for those around me. Let the last years of my life be useful and enjoyable for others and You. Thanks Lord. Amen.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
A New Age
The guard is changing at my church. A new age and a new era is upon
us and actual transition will happen this weekend. After a long
refractory period with a transitional pastor who was part of the
original staff, we have recovered from a church split. We are not in
perfect health, but we are up and around and taking nourishment. Now it
is time for this transitional pastor to retire. He seems to be looking
forward to it and, even more oddly, he will be sticking around as a
church member. We are not displeased with this. His party is this
weekend. While I will not be in attendance, I wish him the best and
since he is not really leaving, I'm sure he will be back in the pulpit
at some point filling in for current staff.
Current staff consists of 3 pastors and various admin people. The one moving into the lead position has been with us for just over three years. As pastors go, he is an odd duck. He likes the occasional adult beverage, enjoys smoking a pipe and skinning dead things. He is a hunter and fisherman. He is all about transparency, openness and honesty. His thing is getting into the middle of your life and bringing everyone else with him.
I kind of hate it sometimes, maybe, mostly, not at all.
He is not a bad guy. His preaching and teaching skills are excellent. He interacts well with the rank and file at church and also the leadership. For some reason though, I just cannot bring myself to trust him as I should, especially since he is also my friend.. This is odd because I have trusted him with so many things. This may be what I am upset about. I am sorry I trusted him. Really? Is that true? I do not feel betrayed, only stupid. I think that the things I have trusted him with probably should have been left alone at this point. The result has not been good for me from my current perspective.
I hope that no one else at church experiences this with him. I am probably kind of unique among his problem children and so maybe it's just me. It probably is just me.
I am having buyer's remorse with regard to my recent self outing. I am wishing I had never done it. There was much more than just an old faggot in that closet. There were boxes of hate and anger and envy in there and I think even some alternate identities. Turns out the old faggot is also a real bitch sometimes too. I absolutely hate him and 'him' is me.
I keep wondering why I thought I had to do it. No one really wanted to see all that ugliness. It would be one thing if it all just went away when exposed to the light shining through the open door. It did not. It was like letting out a rabid, horny dog.
Lord, was this really Your will? Did You want this or was it a mistake? I really need to pay better attention. Maybe You need to be more direct with me? I am sorry. I will do what I can to calm my personal monsters, but they are out now and I am losing control of them.You need to take over. If You don't, there is going to be trouble because right now, I am a mess. I know, from your perspective, that has always been the case, but you know what I mean. In the past, the monsters were contained...now...not so much.
In the meantime, please bless Dave as he steps down and keep an eye on the newbies. I am sure they will be fine all will be well. Please let them be a blessing to our church and not a problem.
Current staff consists of 3 pastors and various admin people. The one moving into the lead position has been with us for just over three years. As pastors go, he is an odd duck. He likes the occasional adult beverage, enjoys smoking a pipe and skinning dead things. He is a hunter and fisherman. He is all about transparency, openness and honesty. His thing is getting into the middle of your life and bringing everyone else with him.
I kind of hate it sometimes, maybe, mostly, not at all.
He is not a bad guy. His preaching and teaching skills are excellent. He interacts well with the rank and file at church and also the leadership. For some reason though, I just cannot bring myself to trust him as I should, especially since he is also my friend.. This is odd because I have trusted him with so many things. This may be what I am upset about. I am sorry I trusted him. Really? Is that true? I do not feel betrayed, only stupid. I think that the things I have trusted him with probably should have been left alone at this point. The result has not been good for me from my current perspective.
I hope that no one else at church experiences this with him. I am probably kind of unique among his problem children and so maybe it's just me. It probably is just me.
I am having buyer's remorse with regard to my recent self outing. I am wishing I had never done it. There was much more than just an old faggot in that closet. There were boxes of hate and anger and envy in there and I think even some alternate identities. Turns out the old faggot is also a real bitch sometimes too. I absolutely hate him and 'him' is me.
I keep wondering why I thought I had to do it. No one really wanted to see all that ugliness. It would be one thing if it all just went away when exposed to the light shining through the open door. It did not. It was like letting out a rabid, horny dog.
Lord, was this really Your will? Did You want this or was it a mistake? I really need to pay better attention. Maybe You need to be more direct with me? I am sorry. I will do what I can to calm my personal monsters, but they are out now and I am losing control of them.You need to take over. If You don't, there is going to be trouble because right now, I am a mess. I know, from your perspective, that has always been the case, but you know what I mean. In the past, the monsters were contained...now...not so much.
In the meantime, please bless Dave as he steps down and keep an eye on the newbies. I am sure they will be fine all will be well. Please let them be a blessing to our church and not a problem.
Sergius and Bacchus
Their faith was a secret, but their love for each other was not. In an age when it was OK to be gay, but not Christian, the faith of these two Roman soldiers was discovered and so they were both arrested and tortured to death for refusing to sacrifice to Jupiter. They both died confessing their undying love and faith in Jesus Christ and for each other.
Interesting no? I thought so. Apparently there was a same sex right of marriage in the ancient Greek Orthodox Church. It was not supposed to be of a sexual nature per se, but it was considered to be a life long love bond with a very good friend of the same sex. I would imagine that these two were bound to each other in this way.
There story deserves more research. I find them interesting. I find the concept of a sexless same sex marriage to be appealing too. I have loved men without loving them sexually. It happens. When it goes both ways in such a relationship, why not make your vows together?
I'm sure someone out there has an answer for me. Go ahead. Let me have it.
I may be husband material after all. Wow.
Here they are again in another woodcut. They look a bit gay here too, but no one in the 4th century seemed concerned about that. The Church even canonized them.
Friday, August 26, 2016
A New Blog for a New Day
My world is small. There are not many people in it. Even though I work for a multinational corporation that has 400,000 employees and countless contractors and vendors, I work in a small office of six people. I go to a conservative Christian church that sports 280 to 320 in attendance on a given Sunday. I have a handful of friends that I trust and several acquaintances. I care for a father with Alzheimer's and I do not have much of a social life. I am kind of introverted so it's not that big of a deal. I am not great at it, but I do like to write. I also teach adult Sunday school classes in my church.
Sounds pretty normal, or at least not abnormal right?
I may have left out some stuff.
I am also gay (celibate by choice). I used to identify politically as Libertarian, but now I am more a part of the new alternative right wing. We are nationalists. We do not believe in egalitarianism. We reject the neo-conservitism that the Republican party promotes and that many Democrats like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are so fond of. They are all "Cuckservatives" because they have cuckolded the people that supported them for years. I could go on but I will not.
The point is, that I am kind of weird, particularly for my age; a Christian, same sex attracted, new alt right, male senior citizen. Yup, that's me. I am outside of all the boxes and trying to destroy or change the ones inside those boxes. I despise the status quo.
I want to restore Christian liberty to the Church, the nation and the world. I want to see globalism and multinational organizations destroyed. I want to see the message of the gospel restored and preached and 'churchianity' emasculated.
REVOLUTION.
Bring it on.
This will be what we discuss here. The end of the current power structure and those that support such foolishness. From the bankers, to the TV evangelists to the global warming sci fi scientists, to the one worlders. It all has to be stopped. Put on the brakes. Throw her in reverse and then make a sharp right turn toward reality. I am so ready for that.
This is the stuff of Faith and the Unreasonable. This is where I am going. If you are a believer, then join me. If you are a Believer, then join me. We may seem unreasonable to those in charge, but that's OK. They will not be in charge much longer.
The paradigm is about to shift. Live free or die as they say in New Hampshire. Let us bring reason to the unreasonable and apply it to our lives.
There are stranger things in heaven and earth then are dreamt of in your philosophy. Lets' test drive some of them.
Welcome to my new blog.
Sounds pretty normal, or at least not abnormal right?
I may have left out some stuff.
I am also gay (celibate by choice). I used to identify politically as Libertarian, but now I am more a part of the new alternative right wing. We are nationalists. We do not believe in egalitarianism. We reject the neo-conservitism that the Republican party promotes and that many Democrats like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are so fond of. They are all "Cuckservatives" because they have cuckolded the people that supported them for years. I could go on but I will not.
The point is, that I am kind of weird, particularly for my age; a Christian, same sex attracted, new alt right, male senior citizen. Yup, that's me. I am outside of all the boxes and trying to destroy or change the ones inside those boxes. I despise the status quo.
I want to restore Christian liberty to the Church, the nation and the world. I want to see globalism and multinational organizations destroyed. I want to see the message of the gospel restored and preached and 'churchianity' emasculated.
REVOLUTION.
Bring it on.
This will be what we discuss here. The end of the current power structure and those that support such foolishness. From the bankers, to the TV evangelists to the global warming sci fi scientists, to the one worlders. It all has to be stopped. Put on the brakes. Throw her in reverse and then make a sharp right turn toward reality. I am so ready for that.
This is the stuff of Faith and the Unreasonable. This is where I am going. If you are a believer, then join me. If you are a Believer, then join me. We may seem unreasonable to those in charge, but that's OK. They will not be in charge much longer.
The paradigm is about to shift. Live free or die as they say in New Hampshire. Let us bring reason to the unreasonable and apply it to our lives.
There are stranger things in heaven and earth then are dreamt of in your philosophy. Lets' test drive some of them.
Welcome to my new blog.
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